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When his brother returns after 12 years with the mob on his trail, a shrewd farmer must find a way to take them all out first, whatever the cost.
The story seems to start when the farmer's brother is threatened. I get that the brother was in danger prior to the start of the story, but from a decision maker's point of view the story starts when the MC understands that the brother is in danger. For example: When his brother is threatened by theRead more
The story seems to start when the farmer’s brother is threatened. I get that the brother was in danger prior to the start of the story, but from a decision maker’s point of view the story starts when the MC understands that the brother is in danger.
For example:
See lessWhen his brother is threatened by the mob, a shrewd farmer must take out New York’s biggest drug lord to save his family.
(23 words)
A young broken girl, released from an orphanage, finally found the love and acceptance she only dreams of when she marries a respected deacon only to discover she and her children are in the fight of their lives to escape a secretly abusive husband and to ultimately find her own true spiritual identity. BTW – This is a re-write from 2 days ago.
Loglines are designed to give a quick overview of the basic premise and genre, therefore, they provide a brief statements of the main character and major plot beats - inciting event, action and goal. Checkout the 'Formula' tab on the top bar for more information.
Loglines are designed to give a quick overview of the basic premise and genre, therefore, they provide a brief statements of the main character and major plot beats – inciting event, action and goal.
Checkout the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar for more information.
See lessAfter a bionic test leaves an island unresponsive, a company investigator and his friends come to see that the test have become weaponized automatically and cannot leave the island or it will destroy the planet.
This is unclear and very hard to understand. How could an Island be responsive in the first place, if it's a very large inanimate object? What has become weaponized? And what does weaponized mean? Nuclear? Biological? Chemical? Is the company investigator the MC? If so, what is he investigating andRead more
This is unclear and very hard to understand.
How could an Island be responsive in the first place, if it’s a very large inanimate object?
What has become weaponized? And what does weaponized mean? Nuclear? Biological? Chemical?
Is the company investigator the MC? If so, what is he investigating and why? What company does the investigator work for? Apple? Nike? A secret organization that experiments on whole Islands at a time?
Is the goal to stop the weaponized something? Or, is it to make the island responsive again (whatever that means)?
Clarity is key in a logline… and you should always describe a goal.
Check out the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar to learn more about logline basics.
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