Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
When a teenager and his best friend get his father fired they must help him find a job even though he has 2 skills (watching tv and eating)
If the main character is the father then his?inciting incident would best be described as an event forced on him i.e: After being fired a lazy man must rely on his son to help him find a new job. Agreed with DPG about the circumstances of the father getting his job in the first place and then loosinRead more
If the main character is the father then his?inciting incident would best be described as an event forced on him i.e:
After being fired a lazy man must rely on his son to help him find a new job.
Agreed with DPG about the circumstances of the father getting his job in the first place and then loosing it thereafter, it doesn’t seem to make sense that someone like him got a job in the first place and it’s not clear why he needs the son to find a new one.
Perhaps if you were to describe the father as having been cut off from the rest of the world with regards to the job market. What if he were an aristocrat or a billionaire who lost all the family’s money and must rely on the son to get around in the “real” world.
See lessAn angel is brutalized by the police, and now his daughter, and humanity must fight him in order to survive.
I can't get a grasp on the story as the plot is vague. What does fight him in order to survive mean in terms of stakes? What will humanity endure that makes them need to survive??What is the danger that the angel poses? Secondly if the inciting incident is the police brutality then the angle is theRead more
I can’t get a grasp on the story as the plot is vague.
What does fight him in order to survive mean in terms of stakes? What will humanity endure that makes them need to survive??What is the danger that the angel poses?
Secondly if the inciting incident is the police brutality then the angle is the main character, but he is described as the antagonist in the logline.
Who is the main character and what specifically are his or her stakes and goal?
See lessA civil war tears a family of gods apart causing banishment to their child who is sent to earth to learn to control her powers with the help of a young story writer who one day helps her defeat her corrupt sister.
Agreed with the comments above. In addition though, the backstory of a civil war sounds unrelated to the plot, perhaps jump to the child being banished to Earth and use that as the inciting incident. Secondly the connection between the child needing to learn control over her powers and the writer seRead more
Agreed with the comments above.
In addition though, the backstory of a civil war sounds unrelated to the plot, perhaps jump to the child being banished to Earth and use that as the inciting incident.
Secondly the connection between the child needing to learn control over her powers and the writer seems tenuous and raises more questions than it answers. Why must she learn this way? Why a writer? How will a writer provide her with the necessary experiences to learn? etc…
For the next draft of this logline, I think it would be beneficial to consider the causation of what happens to the child and and how?it motivates her to need to achieve her goal.
See less