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When a superhero is infected with his engineered plague, her ex-boyfriend escapes from prison to steal from a military lab and create a cure before the woman he loves dies in three days.
This is confusing, who is infected with who's plague and why? It reads as if there was a grammar error by use of the word 'his' in the first clause and immediately after that describing a character as female. I don't understand the logic in the premise, maybe I missed something, why does the boyfrieRead more
This is confusing, who is infected with who’s plague and why?
It reads as if there was a grammar error by use of the word ‘his’ in the first clause and immediately after that describing a character as female.
I don’t understand the logic in the premise, maybe I missed something, why does the boyfriend infect the woman he loves in the first place? And who’s story is it, the super-hero’s or the boyfriend’s?
See lessA struggling novelist on a deadline takes a job as a obituary writer while he gets over his ex-wife and the deaths he writes about expose truths in his own life.
The plot is vague in this concept as it lacks detail, an inciting incident and goal. What is the main character's flaw? What event pushed / motivated him to do what he does? What does he need to achieve by the end of the story? Even in comedy a good story needs a good plot.
The plot is vague in this concept as it lacks detail, an inciting incident and goal.
What is the main character’s flaw?
What event pushed / motivated him to do what he does?
What does he need to achieve by the end of the story?
Even in comedy a good story needs a good plot.
See lessWhen his estranged sister is found dead, a drug addicted private investigator teams up with an android police detective to solve the mystery why she ordered an AI to kill her.
Good re draft of the logline. Glad the personal stake have been brought in, I think the drug addiction can work very well in this concept. It illustrates human weaknesses especially when put up against an android partner who would not have any of these short comings. AIs are suppose to be perfect inRead more
Good re draft of the logline.
Glad the personal stake have been brought in, I think the drug addiction can work very well in this concept. It illustrates human weaknesses especially when put up against an android partner who would not have any of these short comings. AIs are suppose to be perfect in this world, BUT WAIT an AI killed a woman – cue dramatic music…
I think the irony of comparing problems in humans with problems in androids will elevate this concept , but as mentioned above best to tie the drug addiction into the plot.
How about his sister was an addict her self and her death is treated at first as a suicide but the MC knows better, this way his obstacle is even greater as the police don’t really care and the android detective must defy orders (a big no no for AIs) before he helps the MC out. This would further test the lines of AI and human error.
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