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To regain his status in the high ranks of the order after a shameful ban, an arrogant, yet talented sorcerer sets off to hunt one of the most vicious rebels in the realm.
The first clause of this logline can be cut, as it is obvious thathe wants to regain his status. After a shameful ban an arrogant and talented sorcerer must... The description of the goal could use some adjusting, as a rebel isn't necessarily a bad thing and with out any context it isn't clear whatRead more
The first clause of this logline can be cut, as it is obvious thathe wants to regain his status.
After a shameful ban an arrogant and talented sorcerer must…
The description of the goal could use some adjusting, as a rebel isn’t necessarily a bad thing and with out any context it isn’t clear what is the rebel a rebel against. If indeed the intention is for the sorcerer to be the MC and catching the rebel his goal, why not call the rebel an outlaw instead? This way the sorcerer will be doing something for the greater good as well as himself.
However the rebel as the MC sounds more interesting to me, and the sorcerer would be a well motivated antagonist in that case.
See lessWhen a doctor learns he has a kill-mate, a stranger that will be triggered to kill him if they cross paths, he must plot their murder, or risk a deadly encounter.
I like the twist ending if the MC finds out he was the kill mate for the other person all along it would add a sens of irony that would elevate the concept as a whole. Having them both as two Jo Shmoe's ala' Walter White could work, but making the target a big rich person and the MC a poor person prRead more
I like the twist ending if the MC finds out he was the kill mate for the other person all along it would add a sens of irony that would elevate the concept as a whole.
Having them both as two Jo Shmoe’s ala’ Walter White could work, but making the target a big rich person and the MC a poor person provides the MC with greater obstacles on his way to get to his “kill-mate”. So for the sake of your plot it may be better to place them at different ends of the socioeconomic scale.
See lessForced out on his own for the first time, a mentally-challenged man with impulse control problems must prove to himself he can overcome his limitations and achieve his dream of a “normal” life.
It would greatly increase the challenge ahead of him if he were forced into the situation of "normal life survival". The logline is rather vague as it lacks a clear goal, best to re think this concept with an objective outer goal in mind. This doesn't have to be an item of great value per say ratherRead more
It would greatly increase the challenge ahead of him if he were forced into the situation of “normal life survival”.
The logline is rather vague as it lacks a clear goal, best to re think this concept with an objective outer goal in mind. This doesn’t have to be an item of great value per say rather something that fits with in the genre and subject matter. For example he could want to get a job or girlfriend etc… I think he needs something to drive him except for just prove to himself that he is “normal”.
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