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An intrepid paleontologist battles deadly beasts on a Jovian moon after being hired by the U.S. government to join an interstellar crew to study an uncovered ancient fossil.
The plot is not clear as the logline describes a situation with no starting or ending points. What starts off the story and what does the paleontologist need to achieve? In other words what are the inciting incident and goal?
The plot is not clear as the logline describes a situation with no starting or ending points. What starts off the story and what does the paleontologist need to achieve?
See lessIn other words what are the inciting incident and goal?
When intruders break into her home, the ghost of a paraplegic must save her unsuspecting husband from the intruders? sinister plan that involves planting venomous snakes in the husband?s closet.
It wold be better if the logline described the intruders as the ones responsible for her death, then much like in Ghost the stakes are frighteningly plausible.
It wold be better if the logline described the intruders as the ones responsible for her death, then much like in Ghost the stakes are frighteningly plausible.
See lessWhen a deaf surfer is clawed by a cat he begins to obsessively stalk the cat?s owner
As DPG said, how does being clawed by a cat lead someone to NEED to stalk the cat's owner? The connection between the inciting incident and goal isn't clear. Secondly the word "...begins..." should be removed as the character should just go ahead and do the action he or she does not begin to do it.
As DPG said, how does being clawed by a cat lead someone to NEED to stalk the cat’s owner? The connection between the inciting incident and goal isn’t clear.
Secondly the word “…begins…” should be removed as the character should just go ahead and do the action he or she does not begin to do it.
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