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After a nerdy political science student from Greece gets a scholarship to study abroad in New York, he meets a pop star as student at the university and tries to date her, but their different worldviews lead to tension.
Does he date her or just try to? I take it you mean that they go on a date, however I don't see what the problem is for the main character. They go on a date then they realise that their different world views lead to tension and they stop dating, what is the story worthy problem that the main characRead more
Does he date her or just try to?
I take it you mean that they go on a date, however I don’t see what the problem is for the main character. They go on a date then they realise that their different world views lead to tension and they stop dating, what is the story worthy problem that the main character needs to overcome?
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Think of the inciting incident as the cause for her goal. If she discovers she can alter reality how does this cause her to need to rescue her long-lost father? It doesn't. The inciting incident should shake up the main character's world and force them to take action, so if you want her goal to be tRead more
Think of the inciting incident as the cause for her goal.
If she discovers she can alter reality how does this cause her to need to rescue her long-lost father? It doesn’t.
The inciting incident should shake up the main character’s world and force them to take action, so if you want her goal to be to save the father what event could you devise to motivate her to do so?
See lessWhen his mother dies in his arms, an insomniac paramedic abandons the scene of the car accident that claimed her to wander the city streets in search of his estranged siblings.
Agreed with FFF. Also the cause and effect between the mother dying and him needing to track down estranged siblings is not clear. I get that you mean she whispered to him with her dying breath that he has brothers or sisters, but this isn't specified in the logline. It would seem to me that the logRead more
Agreed with FFF.
Also the cause and effect between the mother dying and him needing to track down estranged siblings is not clear.
I get that you mean she whispered to him with her dying breath that he has brothers or sisters, but this isn’t specified in the logline. It would seem to me that the logline would benefit from mentioning this and specifying it as the inciting incident.
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