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  1. Posted: January 23, 2016In: SciFi

    A faithless young girl is recruited into a war of witches and must believe in herself and magic enough to use a legendary wand to end the conflict.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on January 31, 2016 at 12:53 pm

    Good points raised above.In answer to your question a logline isn't suppose to explain all the plot points of the inner journey, as DPG mentioned it's the outer journey plot that it's suppose to tell. It's through the character and obstacle descriptions that the inner journey is inferred, and it's tRead more

    Good points raised above.

    In answer to your question a logline isn’t suppose to explain all the plot points of the inner journey, as DPG mentioned it’s the outer journey plot that it’s suppose to tell. It’s through the character and obstacle descriptions that the inner journey is inferred, and it’s through the cause and effect relationship between the inciting incident and goal that the motivations and stakes are made clear.

    For example:

    The inciting incident of the galactic empire burning Luke’s uncle and aunt motivated him to seek revenge against the man in charge. It’s also connected via a cause and effect relationship to his outer journey goal – stopping the empire’s Death Star.? However, a peek under the surface and we can see that the hero needs to learn to let go of anger on account of being vengeful – his inner journey goal.

    If we keep looking we see that the empire is dangerous and well equipped (killed and burned a whole settlement in? a few hours), so now we also get a sense of the magnitude of the hero’s obstacle.

    But wait there’s more!!!

    As this is a galactic empire the reader now knows the stakes at hand – freedom across the whole galaxy.

    So much was inferred with so few words, point is that with a well structured logline a strong concept will answer all the required questions.

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  2. Posted: January 26, 2016In: Thriller

    A young, cocky walking encyclopedia must travel back in time with his two newly met friends from differing social standards to stop evil forces plotting to take down their transatlantic flight.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on January 26, 2016 at 1:20 pm

    What DPG and Richiev said. Also how does being a cocky walking encyclopedia either help or hinder the main character's efforts? The character description should either explain how the main character will have an obstacle he or she must overcome in their inner journey before achieving their outer goaRead more

    What DPG and Richiev said.
    Also how does being a cocky walking encyclopedia either help or hinder the main character’s efforts?

    The character description should either explain how the main character will have an obstacle he or she must overcome in their inner journey before achieving their outer goal, or provide them with the means to successfully achieve their objective in the plot. Currently the main character description doesn’t appear to do either.

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  3. Posted: January 26, 2016In: Drama

    Created by a spirit of life and death, she must find a way to convince him she is worth the life he gave her before he takes it back.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on January 26, 2016 at 1:13 pm

    I hate to point out the obvious, but the logline doesn't describe a main character. Who is the main character? What is her flaw? What motivates her to achieve her goal? What is her goal? Is is to live? If so, how will she know the mysterious "him" won't kill her after she does what ever she does? LoRead more

    I hate to point out the obvious, but the logline doesn’t describe a main character.
    Who is the main character?
    What is her flaw?
    What motivates her to achieve her goal?
    What is her goal? Is is to live? If so, how will she know the mysterious “him” won’t kill her after she does what ever she does?

    Loglines are made up of specific details held together by strong and clear cause and effect relationships, so best to avoid generic and vague descriptions as a whole.

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