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It’s all fun and games at the cemetery for a twenty something gravedigger clinging to his youth, until his ex-girlfriend’s Mafioso father plots revenge for disrespecting his “little princess.”
The first clause in the line can be deleted as it doesn't describe or help set up a plot, as the main character's age and the fact he enjoys his job are?irrelevant. The story starts when the mafia boss does something to him and therefore this should be the start of the logline. In addition there neeRead more
The first clause in the line can be deleted as it doesn’t describe or help set up a plot, as the main character’s age and the fact he enjoys his job are?irrelevant. The story starts when the mafia boss does something to him and therefore this should be the start of the logline.
In addition there needs to be a specific goal mentioned, otherwise there is no plot and currently the logline is missing a goal.
See lessWhen a Hollywood actor, trying to escape his notoriety, takes a break in a small Australian town, he forms a bond with a local girl and must decide if he wants to return to his extraordinary but superficial life.
As usual well written response by DPG. I'll cross all digits in hopes you win big, mate. The fundamental problem with love/romance stories has been covered above, however, one note worth adding is that the action in these types of stories is often introduced by the force that keeps the lovers apart.Read more
As usual well written response by DPG.
I’ll cross all digits in hopes you win big, mate.
The fundamental problem with love/romance stories has been covered above, however, one note worth adding is that the action in these types of stories is often introduced by the force that keeps the lovers apart. What is it that’s keeping the actor and girl from being either emotionally or physically together? What ever it is needs to be described in the logline, as it will clarify what the struggle and therefore plot will be.
See lessWhen divorced businessman Mr Barton enquires about a hotel?s pay TV service he becomes frustrated by an annoying receptionist with an obsession for popcorn and the Adult Channel.
A logline doesn't need to mention the main character's name unless critical to the story like in a biopic or historical genre. Becoming frustrated is an emotion not an action, therefor, the logline description of the main action doesn't provide any information about what the character will actuallyRead more
A logline doesn’t need to mention the main character’s name unless critical to the story like in a biopic or historical genre.
Becoming frustrated is an emotion not an action, therefor, the logline description of the main action doesn’t provide any information about what the character will actually do in the film.
See lessIn addition, no goal or inciting incident are specified and as a result no plot, as this is the primary function of a logline best to redraft with a specific inciting incident and goal in mind.