Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A farmer and his young daughter helps a talking cow reach the corporate security of a fried chicken franchise while being hunted by assassins hired by the cattleman’s association.
Agreed with the above. The main character could either be the farmer or cow, as a result the plot is unclear. If the MC is the farmer then his goal is to help the cow, but if the MC is the cow then its goal is to reach the fried chicken franchise. Aside from the lack of clarity about the MC, the assRead more
Agreed with the above.
The main character could either be the farmer or cow, as a result the plot is unclear. If the MC is the farmer then his goal is to help the cow, but if the MC is the cow then its goal is to reach the fried chicken franchise.
Aside from the lack of clarity about the MC, the assassins feel like an unnecessary addition put in to increase the stakes. While this is needed, seeing as the stakes are low without it, there is no clear logical connection because the stakes and goal due to lack of a cause end effect relationship.
Lastly why do any of the characters NEED to do what ever it is they are doing now? The logline lacks an inciting incident in other words, it lacks the event that pushed the main character to go on a journey.
See lessDisillusioned with God and the modern world, an immortal man suffering from an existential crisis attempts to immanentize the eschaton- bring heaven on Earth. He resorts to murder and underhandedness as means to justify his end. Title: Aeturnum
Agreed with Kbfilmworks and DPG.In addition, the use of generic description and lack of detail make it hard to picture what the story will look like and how the plot will play out. The reason is that the logline doesn't describe in detail the necessary story elements making it? un clear (in specificRead more
Agreed with Kbfilmworks and DPG.
In addition, the use of generic description and lack of detail make it hard to picture what the story will look like and how the plot will play out. The reason is that the logline doesn’t describe in detail the necessary story elements making it? un clear (in specific terms) what kind of person the main character is, what starts him off on his journey and what his goal is.
Here is a helpful guide which outlines the vital components necessary for constructing loglines:
See lesshttps://loglines.org/howto/
Disillusioned with God and the modern world, an immortal man goes to great lengths to immanentize the eschaton- bring heaven on Earth. Title: Aeturnus
Becoming disillusioned is not an inciting incident rather it is the result of an inciting incident, which begs the question what is the inciting incident? The next draft of the logline needs to explain what motivated him to bring heaven on Earth. Secondly every hero (in good stories) "...goes to greRead more
Becoming disillusioned is not an inciting incident rather it is the result of an inciting incident, which begs the question what is the inciting incident? The next draft of the logline needs to explain what motivated him to bring heaven on Earth.
Secondly every hero (in good stories) “…goes to great lengths…”, other wise their story would be boring. The next draft of the logline should describe what it is exactly that this hero must do in this story.
See less