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When a spot at the local drag show opens last minute, an overly-confident teenager sneaks in and prepares his act quickly to prove himself worthy of a steady gig.
Specific detail helps shape the plot and give the concept elements of interest, the lack of which render the logline unclear. The teen's exact goal needs to be described what does a steady gig in a drag show mean? Will he be the star of the show? A singer? A dancer? Backup vocals? etc... The incitinRead more
Specific detail helps shape the plot and give the concept elements of interest, the lack of which render the logline unclear.
The teen’s exact goal needs to be described what does a steady gig in a drag show mean? Will he be the star of the show? A singer? A dancer? Backup vocals? etc…
The inciting incident is not a good motivator as it doesn’t force the main character to take action, rather it gives him the option to do something. How else can you push this character into having to achieve something?
Lastly the main character’s description indicates an education plot, which means an internal journey from cocky to humble these are difficult to pull off but can make for great stories. What makes this character under go his change? As this will be the main part of your story it should be clear in the logline.
See lessAfter drunkenly trashing his dealer’s car, a 25 year old slacker has to secretly use the only job he has, a shared paper route with his overachieving 14 year old sister to distribute weed until it gets fixed.
The plot sounds weak, and raises the question is this a story worthy problem? The reason could be that the main character has no big obstacle standing in his way to achieving a relatively minor goal.? Maybe best to raise the stakes for instance what if the car was an antique his father inherited froRead more
The plot sounds weak, and raises the question is this a story worthy problem?
The reason could be that the main character has no big obstacle standing in his way to achieving a relatively minor goal.? Maybe best to raise the stakes for instance what if the car was an antique his father inherited from his father? The sentimental value would help.
Further more the inciting incident is of his own doing so it is technically not a significant event by an external force that shifted the balance of his life. Why not change the inciting incident to a big event that he had little or no control over for example:
See lessAfter his drunk friends trash his parents car a slacker must….
A group of explorers discover a previously uncharted island, only to discover the terrifying reason why it wasn’t discovered earlier. Now, trapped, they must find a way to escape the island’s horrors.
Much of this logline is redundant as most of it doesn't describe a plot. The entire first sentence can be cut, and the second sentence lacks a main character. Can you specify one character through who's point of view the story will be told through? Re structure the logline around that character, theRead more
Much of this logline is redundant as most of it doesn’t describe a plot. The entire first sentence can be cut, and the second sentence lacks a main character. Can you specify one character through who’s point of view the story will be told through? Re structure the logline around that character, their flaw and goal.
See less