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When a embittered copy writer curses her job and wishes that all marketing noise, including all text to disappear, she is stunned when she notices products, billboards, signage, newspapers and even the internet turned into void blocks of empty color causing global chaos.
Why did she curse her job in the first place? What's driving her? What is her motivation? What is the inciting incident of her story? I would re draft the logline to include the answer to the above questions.
Why did she curse her job in the first place?
What’s driving her? What is her motivation? What is the inciting incident of her story?
I would re draft the logline to include the answer to the above questions.
See lessWhen her adventurous wheelchair-bound cousin embarks on an outback adventure, a fearful photographer must tag along to protect her, but they encounter killer kangaroos with a taste for human flesh.
The logline mentions two protagonists yet describes the photographer as the main character, which creates a bit of confusion. I think best to specify one main character in the logline, to that matter the one character that will face the greatest feat. In this case it sounds like the wheel chair bounRead more
The logline mentions two protagonists yet describes the photographer as the main character, which creates a bit of confusion. I think best to specify one main character in the logline, to that matter the one character that will face the greatest feat. In this case it sounds like the wheel chair bound adventure seeker should be the MC, that’s why I like DPG’s re write, though I disagree with the structure.
My try:
See lessAfter a wheel-chair bound adventure seeker and her family encounter a mob of man eating Kangaroos, she must lead them all in a fight to kill the Alpha male if they are to survive.
When a harmless prank and a mystifying homicide collide, two men decide to run from the police to figure out who set them up. Their camaraderie shatters when one ends up in jail and the other one suddenly has a flawless alibi. A relentless detective keeps unravelling the truth behind a remarkably twisted story that keeps on washing up new suspects at every turn.
The greatest asset a writer can have is the ability to accept feedback, be it screenwriting-guru like generic or not. You never know what pearls of wisdom lie in the, seemingly inappropriate, comments a stranger can make until you employ complete objectivity. All the best, you're welcome back anytimRead more
The greatest asset a writer can have is the ability to accept feedback, be it screenwriting-guru like generic or not.
You never know what pearls of wisdom lie in the, seemingly inappropriate, comments a stranger can make until you employ complete objectivity.
All the best, you’re welcome back anytime.
See less