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A medical engineer struggles to return to earth after debris crashes into the space shuttle, leaving her drifting alone in space.
The elegance of the concept can be seen in the brevity of it's logline, though I can't say I found this to be an incredible story. It was an incredibly well made film with a strong high concept at it's base, one that stands as a shining example of technology used to enhance story telling. However, iRead more
The elegance of the concept can be seen in the brevity of it’s logline, though I can’t say I found this to be an incredible story. It was an incredibly well made film with a strong high concept at it’s base, one that stands as a shining example of technology used to enhance story telling. However, in it’s most basic form, it’s a simplistic survival story with a marginal inner journey.
I digress!
I would switch the order around in the logline to reflect the plot more accurately:
See less” After debris crashes into her space shuttle and leaves her drifting alone in space, a medical engineer struggles to return to earth.”
An ambitious woman takes over her uncle?s struggling restaurant, determined to bring the business back to life. When the staff that don?t meet Wendy?s standards begin to disappear, the remaining employees start to question just how dedicated to her job their new manager might be. You?d better hope you?re on next week?s roster.
Hey Fliss If Wendy is killing innocent people, she becomes a negative character. If there are two other main characters trying to stop the killing, or figure out what is happening to their co workers, they are positive characters. The audience will find it hard to empathize with a negative characterRead more
Hey Fliss
If Wendy is killing innocent people, she becomes a negative character. If there are two other main characters trying to stop the killing, or figure out what is happening to their co workers, they are positive characters.
The audience will find it hard to empathize with a negative character and easy to empathize with the positive ones. I suspect your plot would also be more interesting with an element of mystery introduced by the fact the main characters don’t know what is actually happening.
Perhaps best to re draft the logline from the point of view of the character or characters that are trying to stop the killer.
Hope this helps.
See lessA brilliant but daring high school senior creates a multi-million dollar video game by stealing the concept from a big-time CEO.
Every word counts in a logline. When the logline describes the MC as "...brilliant but daring..." it implies that brilliant and daring do not have a logical connection between them, BUT, brilliant can logically mean daring. Point is remove the word "...but..." and let brilliant be enhanced by the chRead more
Every word counts in a logline.
When the logline describes the MC as “…brilliant but daring…” it implies that brilliant and daring do not have a logical connection between them, BUT, brilliant can logically mean daring. Point is remove the word “…but…” and let brilliant be enhanced by the character also being daring.
More to the point the logline fails to describe a plot, as such it doesn’t explain what the story is.
What specifically is the main character’s goal? And what starts off his pursuit of said goal?
These questions need to be answered in the next draft of the logline.
Hope this helps.
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