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Strange people in a foreign land with no constitutional rights, these Irish gypsies learn the hard way that the criminal can become the crime victim!
As the others have mentioned, the story isn't clear. Who specifically does what and why?
As the others have mentioned, the story isn’t clear.
Who specifically does what and why?
See lessAfter being discharged for unauthorized actions, the wolf soldier works as a security guard for a rich CEO until he is ordered to take down a terrorist group in his hometown hellbent on destroying the Queen.
What makes this mission personal for him? Hometown isn't enough, perhaps you could make it so a terrorist group threatens his parents/siblings/wife... this way the stakes are made immediately clear.
What makes this mission personal for him? Hometown isn’t enough, perhaps you could make it so a terrorist group threatens his parents/siblings/wife… this way the stakes are made immediately clear.
See lessTo stop the bloody war between the two Five Points gangs, gangleader Paul Kelly must defeat his rival Monk Eastman in a boxing match, with the winner?s gang taking the disputed territory.
I wish members would pay attention to other posts... NO NEED FOR CHARACTER NAMES - just describe the major plot points and character traits. What starts off the bloody war - this is your inciting event, and it needs to be described in the logline. How is the boxing match going to stop the rivalry beRead more
I wish members would pay attention to other posts…
NO NEED FOR CHARACTER NAMES – just describe the major plot points and character traits.
What starts off the bloody war – this is your inciting event, and it needs to be described in the logline.
How is the boxing match going to stop the rivalry between the gangs? Sure, there could be a gentelman’s agreement over a handshake, but these are gang members… they will still hate each other and the violence will likely continue after the boxing match.
More to the point, is the whole film going to be one bout in the ring? What will constitute the bulk of the action in the story beyond the boxing?
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