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When abducted because of his secret, a clumsy teenager with acidic semen must save himself and a porn actress from the set and crew of a deranged snuff film director.
By acidic do you mean like the alien's blood in Alien? Otherwise, it implies and uncomfortable experience for his co star but otherwise no big deal. If you're trying to create a story about someone out of their depth in the porn world, Orgazmo would be a good reference - I'm not sure how long a withRead more
By acidic do you mean like the alien’s blood in Alien? Otherwise, it implies and uncomfortable experience for his co star but otherwise no big deal.
If you’re trying to create a story about someone out of their depth in the porn world, Orgazmo would be a good reference – I’m not sure how long a withdrawn teenager could believably stay a fish out of water in porn.
See lessAfter a disastrous test screening of his latest movie, a hot-headed and volatile Hollywood film director holds the audience hostage with a shotgun and forces them to provide honest feedback.
Agreed with all the above comments. I'll just add that it seems better suited for a short film than a feature length one, is that the intention? Also, Hollywood insider stories are notoriously hard to pitch successfully and very hard to distribute - unless, that is, there's a big name star (or two)Read more
Agreed with all the above comments. I’ll just add that it seems better suited for a short film than a feature length one, is that the intention?
Also, Hollywood insider stories are notoriously hard to pitch successfully and very hard to distribute – unless, that is, there’s a big name star (or two) already attached. Best keep that in mind…
See lessOn the brink of a new type of technological and societal global war, a charismatic figure rises through the political sphere using Social Media as he faces adversity from those who would profit from a war succeeding.
Best if you post new versions of a logline further down the same thread instead of re writing the original post - this way we can all see/track the progress and changes you make. War is better for your story - it has clearer and more immediate stakes. However, I'd argue that it's still unclear whatRead more
Best if you post new versions of a logline further down the same thread instead of re writing the original post – this way we can all see/track the progress and changes you make.
War is better for your story – it has clearer and more immediate stakes.
However, I’d argue that it’s still unclear what starts the story off and how it will end. What event causes the war to start? Is it a big political assassination? If so, could the main character be somehow related to the victim? If you do make the main character a relation of the victim, you can make the story more personal and add the logic of why he (over all others) must rise up and save the people.
You need to keep your descriptions immediately clear to all readers. This means that no matter who reads it, they should be able to get it straight away without the need to think about or search for the meaning of the terminology in the logline.? What does a “…new type of technological and societal global war…” mean? No need to answer this, just think of a better way to word it so that the reader doesn’t wonder what you mean. In my opinion, war is war – best keep it that way and simply describe it as WW3.
Lastly, facing adversity is the very nature of characters in good stories – making that statement on its own doesn’t inform the reader. What must the main character do before the end of the story? Must he end the war? Win it? Save a handful of people?
See lessWhatever it is he MUST do you MUST describe it in the logline.