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When new clues from the diary of her long lost brother, help a young woman to solve a riddle of decades old crime, she is compelled to go to Siberia in search for her vanished family and a missing treasure.
Corridorone. From the posts above it seams that each iteration of the logline is getting a number of consistent comments. I suggest implementing these notes as they mostly still apply to the latest draft of the logline.
Corridorone.
From the posts above it seams that each iteration of the logline is getting a number of consistent comments. I suggest implementing these notes as they mostly still apply to the latest draft of the logline.
See lessIn a dystopian world, a geeky geneticist invents a super-seed to avert global starvation and finds himself pursued by dark corporate profiteers.
Perhaps add a time frame by which the MC has to do something rather than just be pursued by bad guys for an arbitrary period. What if the MC has 48 hours to live and must publish his finding on the web or else? But as DPG wrote, even then the basic dramatic premise of the story is in some ways alreaRead more
Perhaps add a time frame by which the MC has to do something rather than just be pursued by bad guys for an arbitrary period.
What if the MC has 48 hours to live and must publish his finding on the web or else? But as DPG wrote, even then the basic dramatic premise of the story is in some ways already a reality.
What if his research into genetics gave him an easy and cheap cure for all cancer? (hard to believe but in the correct context could be made to work for a film) This doesn’t exist yet and could prove to have as great a stakes as the need for a reliable food source.
Hope this helps.
See lessAfter a land survey reveals that her fence is in the wrong place, a homeowner, unwilling to lose part of her backyard, wages war against her neighbor ? no matter what the law says.
The concept would improve if this "...unwilling to lose part of her backyard..." would be changed for a compelling reason for her to need to hold on to all her land. What if she discovered a gold ore vein or oil deposit in her backyard? Or what if her beloved husband or child were berried in the bacRead more
The concept would improve if this “…unwilling to lose part of her backyard…” would be changed for a compelling reason for her to need to hold on to all her land.
What if she discovered a gold ore vein or oil deposit in her backyard? Or what if her beloved husband or child were berried in the backyard?
I think the motivation is weak and needs to be cleared up for the audience to want to see her achieve her goal.
Hope this helps.
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