Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
An inexperienced detective finds evidence at a murder scene strangely matching that found at her mother?s death 20 years earlier and finds herself drawn into a vortex of deceit, terror and retribution
Descriptions such as "...finds herself drawn into a vortex of deceit, terror and retribution." are too vague, don't describe what the main action will be and what the goal is. Therefore the plot is unclear. Further if she "...finds herself drawn into..." the logline describes her as a passive protagRead more
Descriptions such as “…finds herself drawn into a vortex of deceit, terror and retribution.” are too vague, don’t describe what the main action will be and what the goal is.
Therefore the plot is unclear.
Further if she “…finds herself drawn into…” the logline describes her as a passive protagonist. Why not make her compelled to achieve a specific goal instead?
This will make for a more compelling experience for the audience.
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen a billionaire discovers the Garden of Eden, two Biblical revisionists set out to debunk him, until they learn it might be the fountain of youth.
Agreed with the above. Assuming it is the Billionaire what is his goal? Also after the discovery of the garden and the realization that someone is trying to stop him what does he want to achieve? Hope this helps.
Agreed with the above.
Assuming it is the Billionaire what is his goal?
Also after the discovery of the garden and the realization that someone is trying to stop him what does he want to achieve?
Hope this helps.
See lessWith the mysterious arrival of a stolen diamond, a forensic investigator goes on a quest to Siberia to uncover a decades-old international crime linked to her lost family
The last draft of the logline still fails to create a clear connection between the crucial plot points. The event that starts her off on her journey (the inciting incident arrival of a diamond and journal) is not directly connected to the goal of her journey to Siberia (find the truth). In what wayRead more
The last draft of the logline still fails to create a clear connection between the crucial plot points. The event that starts her off on her journey (the inciting incident arrival of a diamond and journal) is not directly connected to the goal of her journey to Siberia (find the truth).
In what way is the arrival of a mysterious diamond and her brother’s diary, an out of the ordinary and significant event that motivates her to need to do something?
Secondly what is the truth she must uncover in Siberia? What is her actual goal? What is it that the audience will want to see her achieve?
Lastly how is the diamond’s and journal’s arrival connected to the truth in Siberia? How do the former necessitate the later?
See less