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A cunning serial predator lures a stranded schoolgirl back to his den, where he tries to make her a pawn in his sadistic game, or, can she outplay him?
Loglines are useful for stories of all lengths. I found them useful for a 2 minute short film with no dialogue and a 110 page film as the basic functions of a logline are applicable regardless. Also agreed with DPG we do need a format category for new submissions in the new website.
Loglines are useful for stories of all lengths.
I found them useful for a 2 minute short film with no dialogue and a 110 page film as the basic functions of a logline are applicable regardless.
Also agreed with DPG we do need a format category for new submissions in the new website.
See lessWhen a games tester encounters the virtual avatar of a dead friend in the real world, he must uncover a conspiracy that threatens our dimension.
This sounds interesting it comes across as a combination of super natural and scifi. The cause and effect relationship between the inciting incident and the goal is weak though. The connection isn't made instantly clear to the reader and therefore the motivations are also unclear. Without adding a lRead more
This sounds interesting it comes across as a combination of super natural and scifi.
The cause and effect relationship between the inciting incident and the goal is weak though. The connection isn’t made instantly clear to the reader and therefore the motivations are also unclear.
Without adding a lengthy description into the logline how does finding his dead friend’s avatar make him need to save our dimension?
A bit of logic flaw can a virtual being exist in the “real” world? Or is the “real” world not real? Also would he not need to save our four dimensions as appose to just one of them?
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen her agent drops her, a shy ?love story? author attends a horror movie workshop where screenwriters are kept prisoner by a perverse guru who makes them die like their characters, so that only the best writer will survive.
Logline structure and plot aside I think there are some fundamental problems with the concept. 1 - plausibility; to actually be able to threaten, torture and ultimately kill someone or a group of people the scenario needs to enable the mechanism that allows the bad guy to do this. As such you've addRead more
Logline structure and plot aside I think there are some fundamental problems with the concept.
1 – plausibility; to actually be able to threaten, torture and ultimately kill someone or a group of people the scenario needs to enable the mechanism that allows the bad guy to do this. As such you’ve added in the most recent drafts a generic description of the characters are being kept as prisoners. This is the same as in so many other movies that have a similar premise and as a result doesn’t sound interesting. What is unique about their entrapment?
Just a quick thought; If you don’t want to involve any super natural themes, could they have a movie contract at the end as in the surviving writer is guaranteed to sell their script? The antagonist can then use their career aspirations and greed against them.
2 – motivation; the antagonist seams ruthless for almost no reason, normally an antagonist’s motivation can be omitted from loglines, but as the genre in this instance requires it, his motivations needs to be crystal clear, compelling and unique. It’s his motivation that will determine how bad an antagonist he will be and therefor how interesting the characters fight to survive will be.
If these fundamental problems can be solved after several iterations of the logline then this could make for an interesting concept if not and after many re drafts the logline is still not working maybe it won’t make for a good concept.
I don’t want to sound mean or inappropriate just trying to be helpful in my (all to well known) direct way.
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