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Extraterrestrial monsters destroy humanity, save for an obstinate survivalist who vows revenge.
Very true. This is in part why I originally suggested to give the MC a grand goal of stopping the aliens from doing this again. This way despite the lose of humanity there still are great stakes at hand.
Very true.
See lessThis is in part why I originally suggested to give the MC a grand goal of stopping the aliens from doing this again. This way despite the lose of humanity there still are great stakes at hand.
After her teenage sister commits a sudden suicide, an anxiety-disordered young woman returns to her childhood home and begins to discover family secrets that lead her to investigate the tragedy.
In story characters don't begin to do something they just do it. So instead of "...and begins to discover family secrets?" try "?discovers family secrets?". However discovering family secrets is a vague description of what she finds out. If this is a crucial piece of information that motivated her sRead more
In story characters don’t begin to do something they just do it.
So instead of “…and begins to discover family secrets?” try “?discovers family secrets?”. However discovering family secrets is a vague description of what she finds out. If this is a crucial piece of information that motivated her sister to kill herself then specify what it is.
There is little cause and effect between the inciting incident her sister commuting suicide and her action to travel home. Better to jump strait to the action that is directly related to the event that is her investigating the tragedy.
The character flaw “… anxiety-disordered?” doesn’t read well perhaps try anxiety ridden or OCD instead.
Hope this helps.
See lessExtraterrestrial monsters destroy humanity, save for an obstinate survivalist who vows revenge.
This version reads very well and describes a clear plot. I would only add a character flaw and reduce the word count a bit, for example: During an alien invasion a paranoid man flees into the woods, after one of the tentacled interlopers stumbles across his camp he?s forced to fight, or risk discoveRead more
This version reads very well and describes a clear plot. I would only add a character flaw and reduce the word count a bit, for example:
During an alien invasion a paranoid man flees into the woods, after one of the tentacled interlopers stumbles across his camp he?s forced to fight, or risk discovery.
This reads like a setup for a film and sequel as presumably after the hero beats the alien he will need to beat the invading alien force in the second movie as well.
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