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A lonely middle aged autistic man's painful journey to spread wings and not slip into a made up fantasy world – after beloved parents violently die in a car accident of his doing.
Hi Rutger If you don't want to use after/when how about specifying the inciting incident directly as a cause. As a result of a horrific car accident a lonely middle aged autistic man looses his beloved parents he must now find a friend in order to stop himself from slipping into a made up fantasy woRead more
Hi Rutger
If you don’t want to use after/when how about specifying the inciting incident directly as a cause.
As a result of a horrific car accident a lonely middle aged autistic man looses his beloved parents he must now find a friend in order to stop himself from slipping into a made up fantasy world.
Hope this helps.
See lessExtraterrestrial monsters destroy humanity, save for an obstinate survivalist who vows revenge.
The latest draft of the logline describes a survival story with a clear inciting incident but no goal and as such fails to describe a compelling plot. The goal needs to be directly related to the inciting incident. What is it he wants to do as a result of the alien invasion? To survive is a genericRead more
The latest draft of the logline describes a survival story with a clear inciting incident but no goal and as such fails to describe a compelling plot.
The goal needs to be directly related to the inciting incident.
What is it he wants to do as a result of the alien invasion?
To survive is a generic description that has no definitive ending, survive for how long? In what way? Where? How will this be visually captured on camera?
Better to specify the event or achievement that will make it clear he has survived. By this I mean for example; if he is being chased by a specific alien who is the only one that knows he is alive in the woods, then by killing this alien he will survive. His goal can then be to kill the chasing alien.
Other wise the latest draft proposes two possibilities in the end with neither answering the question of what will happen and neither indicating a complete plot.
Hope this helps.
See lessA childless woman gets a "wrong number" call from a kidnapper who has her son. She must trying and rescue the child before the kidnappers carry out their threats.
Better to specify the inciting incident as being done by the antagonist. i.e: After a kidnapper mistakes a woman for being the taken child's mother she must rescue the boy before the criminal carries out his threat. Hope this helps.
Better to specify the inciting incident as being done by the antagonist.
i.e:
After a kidnapper mistakes a woman for being the taken child’s mother she must rescue the boy before the criminal carries out his threat.
Hope this helps.
See less