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When her only daughter intends to get married within a month, 50 yrs old widow Neela, who has deep fear of loneliness, must become aware of this fear by stop denying it and then try to face and overcome this fear by accepting the truth that we are all alone so that she can give consent to her daughter's marriage.
This logline is too wordy best to use economy in your character descriptions and actions than try to over load it with redundant words. There is no clear goal established in this logline. The daughter comes across as more driven main character than the mother as she has got a problem she needs to soRead more
This logline is too wordy best to use economy in your character descriptions and actions than try to over load it with redundant words.
There is no clear goal established in this logline. The daughter comes across as more driven main character than the mother as she has got a problem she needs to solve and a clear visual goal she is pursuing.
Secondly the stakes are not high enough. I understand that it may seam as if loneliness could be a strong motivator but it isn’t certainly not in todays film market. Especially for an un-produced writer best to structure a plot around higher stakes i.e make it primal as Snyder puts it.
Secondly what is the time period? If modern day where is the story set?
In most modern western countries there would be no need for the mothers consent, the daughter as an adult, can marry whomever she wants.
Hope this helps.
See lessA 10 year old kid recently ran away from an orphanage home suddenly finds his father and it changes his life .
Also why did he run away now and not a year ago or a year from now? What is the inciting incident? Why was the inciting incident significant to the boy? Hope this helps.
Also why did he run away now and not a year ago or a year from now? What is the inciting incident? Why was the inciting incident significant to the boy?
Hope this helps.
See lessA young man with no past, wakes up in a town where there's no future and everything's grey, meet an old man tells him he will never go back to his time unless he marry the only lady in town, who is eccentric.
What FFF said and also why now? Start the logline with the event that sparks the story or to that matter the event that changes the main character's life significantly. What is the character flaw and how will it inhibit the MC from achieving his goal? Hope this helps.
What FFF said and also why now?
Start the logline with the event that sparks the story or to that matter the event that changes the main character’s life significantly. What is the character flaw and how will it inhibit the MC from achieving his goal?
Hope this helps.
See less