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An egocentric writer translates a novel that details the impending torture of him and his family unless he figures out who wrote it and makes amends.
This paints an obvious anti hero as the main character problem is there is nothing for the audience to like about him. Audience empathy to the MC is very important especially in a film as appose to a television series where there is more time to develop the empathy. If you want to tell a story aboutRead more
This paints an obvious anti hero as the main character problem is there is nothing for the audience to like about him. Audience empathy to the MC is very important especially in a film as appose to a television series where there is more time to develop the empathy.
If you want to tell a story about an anti hero look at Dexter as an example. There was every reason of the audience to dislike him but they ended up liking him and empathising with him over the course of several episodes serial killer, took the law into his own hands but killed bad guys and lived by a strict moral discipline.
Vincent Vega in Pulp Fiction was another example of a MC that gave the audience every reason to dislike him as a murdering member of an organised crime syndicate. However he was also a hard working man that lived by a simple set of moral codes (amongst which was not to sleep with married women) only different to most law abiding people.
How will you make this egocentric, deceitful, arrogant, untalented prick palatable to the audience as a MC they can empathise with?
About the plot it isn’t clear what will happen in this movie. If the inciting incident is him translating a novel I don’t see how this relates to him stopping a future torturer. The inciting incident should be his discovery of the events to come. However this raises another plot hole; why is he convinced the novel’s predictions are true?
Perhaps just mention that he discovers plans to kill his family and construct a believable mechanism by which he does so in the synopsis and make his goal in the logline to stop the killer.
Hope this helps.
See lessAfter a young insecure girl, who lost her boyfriend by an accident, is sending a naked video to a strange men which is causing bullying attacks at school, she is moving to a new town to build friendships, but the cyber attacks continue and increase her depression.
There appear to be a large number of grammatical errors in this logline best to proof read it first. About the structure the inciting incident is not clear but seems to be the bullying at school, if so best to start with that and remove the picture sending part of the logline. You haven't describedRead more
There appear to be a large number of grammatical errors in this logline best to proof read it first.
About the structure the inciting incident is not clear but seems to be the bullying at school, if so best to start with that and remove the picture sending part of the logline.
You haven’t described a plot because you haven’t mentioned her goal rather just described her hopes and getting more depressed. After she is attacked in school what is it she wants that the audience will get to SEE her achieve?
Lastly this describes an all too well known a scenario in many schools these days. The news papers are regularly full of similar occurrences, so in what way does this story differ? What makes this story unique and make people want to go and see the film?
Hope this helps.
See lessA naive young wordsmith from a country village must face down the dark and callous aspects of humanity to rescue his childhood friend, kidnapped years earlier, and bring down the criminal organisation which has subjugated her
In addition to the above comments best to raise the stakes. Instead of childhood friend from years before can it be a brother or love of his life? Also I find it a bit difficult to believe that he remembers what one of the suspects looks like well enough to spot him out of a crowd and be convinced tRead more
In addition to the above comments best to raise the stakes. Instead of childhood friend from years before can it be a brother or love of his life?
Also I find it a bit difficult to believe that he remembers what one of the suspects looks like well enough to spot him out of a crowd and be convinced that he is one of the suspects. Further if this is the inciting incident unless there are a series of flash backs or a prologue to explain the context it won’t have any impact on the viewing audience.
I suggest re thinking the plot as it may have a few fundamental problems in it as it is now.
Hope this helps.
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