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A woman's ghost appears to her husband to try and prevent his suicide and convince him to go on living. The longer she stays the less chance she has of entering heaven and the harder it is for him to move on.
Is this a short film? If so the plot can afford less acts and a quicker resolution. I would describe her as her self not a version there of instead of a woman's ghost a woman stuck in limbo. It would be better to raise the stakes and give her a must achieve or else goal such as: After dying in an acRead more
Is this a short film?
If so the plot can afford less acts and a quicker resolution.
I would describe her as her self not a version there of instead of a woman’s ghost a woman stuck in limbo.
It would be better to raise the stakes and give her a must achieve or else goal such as:
After dying in an accident a woman stuck in limbo must prevent her grieving husband from committing suicide in order to be allowed into heaven.
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen women are refused jobs at the city's largest company, a group of women must overcome backward attitudes, language barriers, poverty and tradition to ignite a community battle from the factory gates to the highest courts, for equality.
Best to define the exact obstacle they need to overcome pick one and let it be the main fight: "...backward attitudes, language barriers, poverty and tradition?". Ideally also specify the character that best embodies this obstacle and make him or her the antagonist. Hope this helps.
Best to define the exact obstacle they need to overcome pick one and let it be the main fight: “…backward attitudes, language barriers, poverty and tradition?”. Ideally also specify the character that best embodies this obstacle and make him or her the antagonist.
Hope this helps.
See less'The only straight player on an all-gay football team is engaged to the daughter of a disapproving, homophobic dinosaur. With his team aiming for the final, he struggles for his father-in-law's blessing, who just so happens to be the league's top referee'
The MC goal is the blessing from the future father in law but how will he get this blessing will it be a verbal blessing or a symbolic act? I just think that as a goal for a film a future father in law's blessing is rather un cinematic and underwhelming. Further more what are the stakes so what if tRead more
The MC goal is the blessing from the future father in law but how will he get this blessing will it be a verbal blessing or a symbolic act? I just think that as a goal for a film a future father in law’s blessing is rather un cinematic and underwhelming.
Further more what are the stakes so what if the father doesn’t give his blessing they will marry anyway and live happily ever after. Can you raise the stakes to make it an or else situation for the MC?
Lastly the logline contains a lot of information that doesn’t contribute to the plot. In my mind: “The only straight player on an all-gay football team is engaged to the daughter of a disapproving, homophobic dinosaur. With his team aiming for the final, ” Should all be cut. The A plot is the MC trying to get the blessing from the father so deal with that and that alone.
Also I haven’t heard of an all-gay football team is there such a thing or is it fictional? If fictional was the team purposefully made to be all-gay and announced to the media or was it by chance and is kept under wraps?
Hope this helps.
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