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In a leisure female-only Utopia where sex is the only taboo, a willful girl must escape from her restrained community to join her lover who has been sent away.
I think this concept raises too many questions about the logic of the premise that put the suspension of disbelief at risk. Providing all the plot holes and logic leaps are dealt with elegantly in the script I think best to simplify the logline so that it deals only with the MC goal and not mentionRead more
I think this concept raises too many questions about the logic of the premise that put the suspension of disbelief at risk. Providing all the plot holes and logic leaps are dealt with elegantly in the script I think best to simplify the logline so that it deals only with the MC goal and not mention the surrounding complications.
MC – a sheltered teen.
Goal – find her love.
Antagonist – ? maybe a jealous law enforcer.
stakes – ?
Inciting incident – ?
Re draft the logline to include only these points and no descriptions of the unique premise.
See lessIn a leisure female-only Utopia where sex is the only taboo, a willful girl must escape from her restrained community to join her lover who has been sent away.
Can't say I to see a utopia without sex either? How does the lack of sex contribute to the story? In what way is this vital to the plot?
Can’t say I to see a utopia without sex either?
How does the lack of sex contribute to the story? In what way is this vital to the plot?
See lessWhen a small town shearer incapable of change falls in love with a backpacker unable to settle down. He must learn to leave his home behind for love to truly flourish.
This is a boy meets girl story needles to say this is a well trodden path. So as with all boy meets girl stories its what prevents them from begin together that makes it interesting. What is standing in the way of them being together? Her being incapable of settling down and him being incapable of cRead more
This is a boy meets girl story needles to say this is a well trodden path. So as with all boy meets girl stories its what prevents them from begin together that makes it interesting.
What is standing in the way of them being together?
Her being incapable of settling down and him being incapable of change are not it this obstacle needs to be an external force that either one or both of them have to fight to stay together. Also as most romances go you need to keep your lovers at ends with each other don’t let them be lovey-dovey until act 3.
Hope this helps.
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