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When a terminally ill scientist uploads his consciousness to a virtual world he believes he has cheated death, but when AI designed to care for him begins digitising others, he’ll risk everything he’s created, including his own virtual existence, to shut it down.
There are too many elements unrelated to the plot at hand present in the logline for it to be effective. Who is the story about? What exactly does he or she want? How will he or she achieve it? These questions are not being answered in the current draft of the log line and are crucial for a logline.Read more
There are too many elements unrelated to the plot at hand present in the logline for it to be effective.
Who is the story about?
What exactly does he or she want?
How will he or she achieve it?
These questions are not being answered in the current draft of the log line and are crucial for a logline.
That aside, the use of criminals in dangerous environments as desperadoes willing to risk their life in exchange for freedom is a trope common to many B grade scifi and horror movies. As such what makes these criminals inner journey unique what sets these characters apart from Arnie in Running Man or Gerard Butler in Gamer?
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen a stubborn secret agent wakes up in Eastern Europe trapped in the body of a reclusive female English teacher, the unlikely duo must set their differences aside to find the agent’s body before his former government employers, who want him dead, do.
"Struggling" is a strange description for the MC as a secret agent. Struggling normally implies financially in the context of a secret agent that seams unrelated, what is he struggling with? Is there a different character description you can use? A description that could imply a character flaw for tRead more
“Struggling” is a strange description for the MC as a secret agent. Struggling normally implies financially in the context of a secret agent that seams unrelated, what is he struggling with?
Is there a different character description you can use? A description that could imply a character flaw for the MC to overcome in their inner journey?
Waking up in the teacher’s body sounds like the inciting incident for the MC as this has never happened to him before. In this case no need to mention him getting shot as that is a perfectly normal thing for secrete agents. Save words in the logline and get strait to the inciting incident in the beginning of the log line.
“…they?ll be forced to go on the run…” sounds like a passive character better to have them go up against the bad guys by choice make the MC an active one in pursuit of the bad guys. On that note give the MC a clear goal such as: put the bad guy in jail, get back his own body, etc…
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen a stubborn secret agent wakes up in Eastern Europe trapped in the body of a reclusive female English teacher, the unlikely duo must set their differences aside to find the agent’s body before his former government employers, who want him dead, do.
"Struggling" is a strange description for the MC as a secret agent. Struggling normally implies financially in the context of a secret agent that seams unrelated, what is he struggling with? Is there a different character description you can use? A description that could imply a character flaw for tRead more
“Struggling” is a strange description for the MC as a secret agent. Struggling normally implies financially in the context of a secret agent that seams unrelated, what is he struggling with?
Is there a different character description you can use? A description that could imply a character flaw for the MC to overcome in their inner journey?
Waking up in the teacher’s body sounds like the inciting incident for the MC as this has never happened to him before. In this case no need to mention him getting shot as that is a perfectly normal thing for secrete agents. Save words in the logline and get strait to the inciting incident in the beginning of the log line.
“…they?ll be forced to go on the run…” sounds like a passive character better to have them go up against the bad guys by choice make the MC an active one in pursuit of the bad guys. On that note give the MC a clear goal such as: put the bad guy in jail, get back his own body, etc…
Hope this helps.
See less