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Responsible for the death of his son, a father tries to explain his actions leading up to the tragedy before taking his own life.
Explaining his actions is not as interesting as seeing his actions. What is it he must do? Beg for forgiveness, make amends, etc... if so from who? The story is not clear because the character is not in motion to achieve a goal. Secondly what is his obstacle? He can explain his actions any time to aRead more
Explaining his actions is not as interesting as seeing his actions. What is it he must do? Beg for forgiveness, make amends, etc… if so from who?
The story is not clear because the character is not in motion to achieve a goal.
Secondly what is his obstacle? He can explain his actions any time to any one with out any thing stopping him. What is the source of his struggle to achieve the goal? What will make his story interesting is a clear obstacle standing in his way.
Hope this helps.
See lessResponsible for the death of his son, a father tries to explain his actions leading up to the tragedy before taking his own life.
Explaining his actions is not as interesting as seeing his actions. What is it he must do? Beg for forgiveness, make amends, etc... if so from who? The story is not clear because the character is not in motion to achieve a goal. Secondly what is his obstacle? He can explain his actions any time to aRead more
Explaining his actions is not as interesting as seeing his actions. What is it he must do? Beg for forgiveness, make amends, etc… if so from who?
The story is not clear because the character is not in motion to achieve a goal.
Secondly what is his obstacle? He can explain his actions any time to any one with out any thing stopping him. What is the source of his struggle to achieve the goal? What will make his story interesting is a clear obstacle standing in his way.
Hope this helps.
See lessA dying playboy has to expose the lying fianc? of a brilliant woman so she can find true love, but falls in love with her himself.
Good points raised above by DPG. What is his goal? What is the end result? The logline states he ends up falling in love with her himself but then what? Hope this helps.
Good points raised above by DPG.
What is his goal? What is the end result? The logline states he ends up falling in love with her himself but then what?
Hope this helps.
See less