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A dying playboy has to expose the lying fianc? of a brilliant woman so she can find true love, but falls in love with her himself.
Good points raised above by DPG. What is his goal? What is the end result? The logline states he ends up falling in love with her himself but then what? Hope this helps.
Good points raised above by DPG.
What is his goal? What is the end result? The logline states he ends up falling in love with her himself but then what?
Hope this helps.
See lessMilk is the least of her worries as a matriarch struggles to keep the ice cream flowing ? she has teenage kids and a revolution to contend with.
The latest draft of the logline is clearer but still lacks a few crucial elements. Firstly no need to name the main character best to leave her as an Ice cream shop owner, young widow or mother of 3. If the back drop of the story is the Egyptian revolution and this is mentioned in the logline then iRead more
The latest draft of the logline is clearer but still lacks a few crucial elements.
Firstly no need to name the main character best to leave her as an Ice cream shop owner, young widow or mother of 3.
If the back drop of the story is the Egyptian revolution and this is mentioned in the logline then it needs to be used in the logline (and therefore the concept) in a way that it affects the plot.
As it stands right now the MC could be placed anywhere around the world and the story could still happen. How does the revolution force the MC to make decisions and make choices? The revolution could give you a good force of antagonism and provide the MC with ongoing obstacles.
Secondly what is it that starts the story off in the first place? What event happens to the MC in other words what is the inciting incident that drives her to take action and achieve a goal? And what goal is she trying to achieve?
Hope this helps.
See lessMilk is the least of her worries as a matriarch struggles to keep the ice cream flowing ? she has teenage kids and a revolution to contend with.
The latest draft of the logline is clearer but still lacks a few crucial elements. Firstly no need to name the main character best to leave her as an Ice cream shop owner, young widow or mother of 3. If the back drop of the story is the Egyptian revolution and this is mentioned in the logline then iRead more
The latest draft of the logline is clearer but still lacks a few crucial elements.
Firstly no need to name the main character best to leave her as an Ice cream shop owner, young widow or mother of 3.
If the back drop of the story is the Egyptian revolution and this is mentioned in the logline then it needs to be used in the logline (and therefore the concept) in a way that it affects the plot.
As it stands right now the MC could be placed anywhere around the world and the story could still happen. How does the revolution force the MC to make decisions and make choices? The revolution could give you a good force of antagonism and provide the MC with ongoing obstacles.
Secondly what is it that starts the story off in the first place? What event happens to the MC in other words what is the inciting incident that drives her to take action and achieve a goal? And what goal is she trying to achieve?
Hope this helps.
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