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When a conscientious reincarnation policeman uncovers misuse of a soul transferal machine and becomes Public Enemy No. 1, he is forced to come up against the most powerful man on the planet in order to create a new and more just world.
This logline touches on interesting facts known about in the world of the story: "...conscientious reincarnation policeman...", "...a soul transferal machine...", but not in our real world. As a result reading this logine demands to greater leap of logic on behalf of the reader to make sense of theRead more
This logline touches on interesting facts known about in the world of the story: “…conscientious reincarnation policeman…”, “…a soul transferal machine…”, but not in our real world. As a result reading this logine demands to greater leap of logic on behalf of the reader to make sense of the situation the logline describes.
I suggest taking out references to specific since fiction elements and describe the MC as a policeman with a flaw his action and the antagonist.
When an idealistic police man in a futuristic society is framed for a case he is working on he must prove that the leader of the free world is guilty in order to stop corruption and save his own life.
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen a conscientious reincarnation policeman uncovers misuse of a soul transferal machine and becomes Public Enemy No. 1, he is forced to come up against the most powerful man on the planet in order to create a new and more just world.
This logline touches on interesting facts known about in the world of the story: "...conscientious reincarnation policeman...", "...a soul transferal machine...", but not in our real world. As a result reading this logine demands to greater leap of logic on behalf of the reader to make sense of theRead more
This logline touches on interesting facts known about in the world of the story: “…conscientious reincarnation policeman…”, “…a soul transferal machine…”, but not in our real world. As a result reading this logine demands to greater leap of logic on behalf of the reader to make sense of the situation the logline describes.
I suggest taking out references to specific since fiction elements and describe the MC as a policeman with a flaw his action and the antagonist.
When an idealistic police man in a futuristic society is framed for a case he is working on he must prove that the leader of the free world is guilty in order to stop corruption and save his own life.
Hope this helps.
See lessA mysterious boy is on the run after having his identity found out, will he escape from the evil prospect of the hunters chasing him every second.
Good points raise above. I would add also that in this instance the antagonist description is of particular importance. The boy running away is a relatively mundane action that most boys will be able to do (if not have done at some point during child hood). There for the force he is running from neeRead more
Good points raise above.
I would add also that in this instance the antagonist description is of particular importance. The boy running away is a relatively mundane action that most boys will be able to do (if not have done at some point during child hood). There for the force he is running from needs to be specifically designed to increase the obstacles he is up against. A generic hunter is not scary or specific enough but: an OCD serial killer could be for example, just a crazy suggestion to illustrate what I mean.
Hoe this helps.
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