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To add some spice to mundane life a wedding photographer and his childhood friend set about organizing a show of local rock bands that were famous in the 1990s and make a documentary about them. Will the two friends manage to find their true calling in life when everything goes wrong?
As previously mentioned stakes and clear objectives are needed. Additionally if this is a farce comedy then the premise could work so long as a need in the character's world is established the story would also require sufficient and well structured sub plots to work for an entire film. A good examplRead more
As previously mentioned stakes and clear objectives are needed.
Additionally if this is a farce comedy then the premise could work so long as a need in the character’s world is established the story would also require sufficient and well structured sub plots to work for an entire film. A good example of a similar premise that executed farce well is Wane’s World 2.
With regards to the logline itself I would say that asking a question at the end in my mind normally weakens a logline. A good logline should describe a set of characters and obstacle and a need in such a way that a question is naturally formed in the mind of the reader with no need for a direct prompt from the logline itself. The effect of this is intrigue for the reader so when you ask the reader a question instead this effect is diluted.
Hope this helps.
See lessAfter three teammates are killed in separate incidents during a mission, an elite surveillance operator struggles with being labelled as a magnet of doom by a fellow operator simply because all three men were in close contact with him just before they died.
To help with the above comments you need to increase the stakes. Try changing "...struggles with being labelled..." to; is accused of murder or is put to a court-martial. In loglines the verb struggling as the main action for the protagonist is often a weak description of what they will do because iRead more
To help with the above comments you need to increase the stakes. Try changing “…struggles with being labelled…” to; is accused of murder or is put to a court-martial.
In loglines the verb struggling as the main action for the protagonist is often a weak description of what they will do because it is vague and doesn’t paint a clear image of what the story will look like.
Also I’m not sure what “…an elite surveillance operator…” is can you describe the protagonist in a more succinct and clear manner?
Hope this helps.
See lessAfter three teammates are killed in separate incidents during a mission, an elite surveillance operator struggles with being labelled as a magnet of doom by a fellow operator simply because all three men were in close contact with him just before they died.
To help with the above comments you need to increase the stakes. Try changing "...struggles with being labelled..." to; is accused of murder or is put to a court-martial. In loglines the verb struggling as the main action for the protagonist is often a weak description of what they will do because iRead more
To help with the above comments you need to increase the stakes. Try changing “…struggles with being labelled…” to; is accused of murder or is put to a court-martial.
In loglines the verb struggling as the main action for the protagonist is often a weak description of what they will do because it is vague and doesn’t paint a clear image of what the story will look like.
Also I’m not sure what “…an elite surveillance operator…” is can you describe the protagonist in a more succinct and clear manner?
Hope this helps.
See less