Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
After an attack turns him half-man half-abortion, an obstetrician uses newfound abilities to exact revenge on the attackers as his inner demon threatens to become flesh and kill him.
The description of the inciting incident is unclear because most readers wont know what "...turns him half-man half-abortion," means. How else can you describe the event that starts the obstetrician on his journey? "...newfound abilities..." is a vague description because as a reader I don't know whRead more
The description of the inciting incident is unclear because most readers wont know what “…turns him half-man half-abortion,” means.
How else can you describe the event that starts the obstetrician on his journey?
“…newfound abilities…” is a vague description because as a reader I don’t know what these abilities are. Can you specify what he does? Reason this is needed is because this will constitute most of the action in act 2 i.e the majority of the film therefor it is important for the reader to know what it is.
The antagonists in this instance are important because they caused the inciting incident. However the antagonists have a generic description “…attackers…” for a reader to envisage the obstacle that awaits the MC better to describe the antagonists in a more accurate way.
Hope this helps.
See lessAfter an attack turns him half-man half-abortion, an obstetrician uses newfound abilities to exact revenge on the attackers as his inner demon threatens to become flesh and kill him.
The description of the inciting incident is unclear because most readers wont know what "...turns him half-man half-abortion," means. How else can you describe the event that starts the obstetrician on his journey? "...newfound abilities..." is a vague description because as a reader I don't know whRead more
The description of the inciting incident is unclear because most readers wont know what “…turns him half-man half-abortion,” means.
How else can you describe the event that starts the obstetrician on his journey?
“…newfound abilities…” is a vague description because as a reader I don’t know what these abilities are. Can you specify what he does? Reason this is needed is because this will constitute most of the action in act 2 i.e the majority of the film therefor it is important for the reader to know what it is.
The antagonists in this instance are important because they caused the inciting incident. However the antagonists have a generic description “…attackers…” for a reader to envisage the obstacle that awaits the MC better to describe the antagonists in a more accurate way.
Hope this helps.
See lessTo add some spice to mundane life a wedding photographer and his childhood friend set about organizing a show of local rock bands that were famous in the 1990s and make a documentary about them. Will the two friends manage to find their true calling in life when everything goes wrong?
As previously mentioned stakes and clear objectives are needed. Additionally if this is a farce comedy then the premise could work so long as a need in the character's world is established the story would also require sufficient and well structured sub plots to work for an entire film. A good examplRead more
As previously mentioned stakes and clear objectives are needed.
Additionally if this is a farce comedy then the premise could work so long as a need in the character’s world is established the story would also require sufficient and well structured sub plots to work for an entire film. A good example of a similar premise that executed farce well is Wane’s World 2.
With regards to the logline itself I would say that asking a question at the end in my mind normally weakens a logline. A good logline should describe a set of characters and obstacle and a need in such a way that a question is naturally formed in the mind of the reader with no need for a direct prompt from the logline itself. The effect of this is intrigue for the reader so when you ask the reader a question instead this effect is diluted.
Hope this helps.
See less