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Identiical Twins living in the Post-Apocalyptic Caribbean have their village attacked by pirates, one of them is taken and the village is destroyed; unable to make contact one devotes his life to saving his brother while the other slowly becomes identical to the very pirates that pillaged his town.
The base idea is interesting if your story is about "...how two identical people in different circumstances can become completely different.". However I think you may be adding unnecessary complications to the story with the setting as there is no inherent need for the apocalyptic archipelago locatiRead more
The base idea is interesting if your story is about “…how two identical people in different circumstances can become completely different.”.
However I think you may be adding unnecessary complications to the story with the setting as there is no inherent need for the apocalyptic archipelago location.
More so this specific type of post Apocalypse doesn’t conjure up in my mind an image as clear as other post Apocalypse settings such as; Mad Max 2 – out back Australia, THX1138 – underground urban USA, Snow piercer – future ice age, etc…
See lessClosest I can think of to this is; Water World which, location aside, simply didn’t work as a movie.
Suicidal and desperate for death, a young man travels to a house to remove the one element in his life that keeps him going so he can have his death wish fulfilled, his brother.
Personally I find the proposed story confusing and needing far too much explanation to fit in a short film. Also, I agree with the sentiment of DPG's post but think the direct relation to a writer needs some clarification. The writer of a drama film strikes a contract with the audience of the film wRead more
Personally I find the proposed story confusing and needing far too much explanation to fit in a short film.
Also, I agree with the sentiment of DPG’s post but think the direct relation to a writer needs some clarification.
The writer of a drama film strikes a contract with the audience of the film when an audience agrees to sit and watch it.
The contract goes something like;
I agree to engage you in a story about an interesting character, if you agree to suspend your disbelief and accept what the character does within reason.
The part that your logline has a problem with most is; “…within reason.”. This is because the logline is already asking for too much from the reader to accept. This is not a technicality that can be dealt with by a bit of explanation or details given through exposition. This is a major leap of logic, in fact far beyond reason, that the audience will need to make in order to suspend their disbelief.
Justifying this would leave you with an anti hero possessing major flaws and psychological problems, closest I can think of a produced film similar to your logline is Sling Blade. But that was a feature film and Billy Bob Thornton had been working full time for 10 years prior to that acting and writing. Especially considering first time writer and a short film best to tackle a more conventional MC and premise and perhaps leave this idea for after you work on a few films.
Hope this helps.
See lessSuicidal and desperate for death, a young man travels to a house to remove the one element in his life that keeps him going so he can have his death wish fulfilled, his brother.
Personally I find the proposed story confusing and needing far too much explanation to fit in a short film. Also, I agree with the sentiment of DPG's post but think the direct relation to a writer needs some clarification. The writer of a drama film strikes a contract with the audience of the film wRead more
Personally I find the proposed story confusing and needing far too much explanation to fit in a short film.
Also, I agree with the sentiment of DPG’s post but think the direct relation to a writer needs some clarification.
The writer of a drama film strikes a contract with the audience of the film when an audience agrees to sit and watch it.
The contract goes something like;
I agree to engage you in a story about an interesting character, if you agree to suspend your disbelief and accept what the character does within reason.
The part that your logline has a problem with most is; “…within reason.”. This is because the logline is already asking for too much from the reader to accept. This is not a technicality that can be dealt with by a bit of explanation or details given through exposition. This is a major leap of logic, in fact far beyond reason, that the audience will need to make in order to suspend their disbelief.
Justifying this would leave you with an anti hero possessing major flaws and psychological problems, closest I can think of a produced film similar to your logline is Sling Blade. But that was a feature film and Billy Bob Thornton had been working full time for 10 years prior to that acting and writing. Especially considering first time writer and a short film best to tackle a more conventional MC and premise and perhaps leave this idea for after you work on a few films.
Hope this helps.
See less