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When Tobi continues to act out, his guardians have no choice but to send him to seek help. The result is anything but textbook.
Don't bother using peoples' names in a logline. The reader hasn't had a chance to connect with that character yet, so the name is meaningless. Instead, use their profession and their character flaw (this will also hint at the inner journey your character will take). What do you mean act out? Are hisRead more
Don’t bother using peoples’ names in a logline. The reader hasn’t had a chance to connect with that character yet, so the name is meaningless. Instead, use their profession and their character flaw (this will also hint at the inner journey your character will take).
What do you mean act out? Are his guardians his foster parents? His goal is to seek help? What does that look like? What’s the concrete VISUAL goal that signifies he has either achieved or failed to achieve “help”.
“The result is anything but textbook” is too vague for a logline. Instead, tell us who is standing in the way of your protagonist receiving help … and what the consequences will be if he fails in his goal?
See lessWhen the world’s economic system collapses causing great social upheaval, a rising political savior steps in with a new economic idea where all economy is stored inside the human body, beginning the formation of a powerful Governmental global revolution and resulting in one of the greatest tribulation periods of all time.
Your logline definitely needs to be clearer - in as much as a logline shouldn't really "allude" to anything. It should tell me, outright, who is your story about, what this character wants, and who or what is standing in their way. You 100% must include your protagonist, indicated clearly, and emphaRead more
Your logline definitely needs to be clearer – in as much as a logline shouldn’t really “allude” to anything. It should tell me, outright, who is your story about, what this character wants, and who or what is standing in their way.
You 100% must include your protagonist, indicated clearly, and emphasise the antagonist less (although, don’t exclude this character).
See lessAn aloof hairdresser battles thousands of enemy troops to reclaim the ex-fiance he still loves, before she gets married on the final day of Germany's biggest LARP.
Thanks man. I admit, I'm reluctant to make the change, because 1) it's misrepresentative about the size and nature of the event and 2) because LARP would make the film appeal to a specific demographic. Other loglinists (that's a word, right?) what are your thoughts?
Thanks man. I admit, I’m reluctant to make the change, because 1) it’s misrepresentative about the size and nature of the event and 2) because LARP would make the film appeal to a specific demographic.
Other loglinists (that’s a word, right?) what are your thoughts?
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