Something just doesn’t sit right with me about the clarity of your protagonist’s goal. I feel like “pursuing the return” would be like the training montage in the film, and that the majority of it would actually be the player on the team, playing in games, and facing his physical shortcomings in the matches as well as his own team-mates shaken confidence in him.

I don’t want to tell you how to write your story – particularly if you’ve already scripted it – but it feels like it would work better if the “event” half of your logline was akin to: “When a star hockey-player returns to the sport he loves after tragically losing his leg …”

And then the “action” half of the logline would revolve around either the team beating a specific team, or winning the championship, or getting into the playoffs. Something that is concrete and can be visualized by the reader.

“Controlled by an oppressive host” is problematic because it indicates you have a character who does not possess free will, and will therefore be ‘passive’ in your story. That would be frustrating to watch – perhaps unless it is a third act reveal.

Anyway, I think you’ve put the elements all in here – although your description of “a man” is not particularly compelling. What is there about this character, besides his amnesia, that would make me want to watch 90 mins of story about him?

You’ve indicated an antagonist (oppressive host), a goal (catch a killer) and the stakes (his identity). My problem is that these elements are all disparate, and it doesn’t make sense how they all fit together. Why does your protagonist care about catching the killer? Why does your antagonist care about it, for that matter? Finding out his identity seems like high stakes … but couldn’t your protagonist feasibly just LEAVE the hotel, and go literally anywhere else to start working out who he is? Why is it so important that he learn from this oppressive host?