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After successful neurosurgery, a monk questions his visions of a transcendent being or whether they're symptoms of mental illness.
Does the monk perform the neurosurgery or is he being operated on? If so, why does this happen, and is that the cause of him questioning his faith? After that initial setup (in layman's terms, after a brain operation a monk has a crisis of faith) ... what happens then? What is the protagonist's goalRead more
Does the monk perform the neurosurgery or is he being operated on? If so, why does this happen, and is that the cause of him questioning his faith? After that initial setup (in layman’s terms, after a brain operation a monk has a crisis of faith) … what happens then? What is the protagonist’s goal, what are the stakes, and who is your antagonist?
See lessBy 2059 all human beings have been genetically altered with the ability to harness power from the earth's magnetic field, but When the first murder is committed in 23 years, a naturally born detective is assigned to the case.
There are too many disparate elements that don't seem to connect here. What is the relevance of being able to harness the earth's field, in relation to murders being non existent for over two decades? Is there a way that the issue of genetically engineered human vs natural birth protagonist can be fRead more
There are too many disparate elements that don’t seem to connect here. What is the relevance of being able to harness the earth’s field, in relation to murders being non existent for over two decades? Is there a way that the issue of genetically engineered human vs natural birth protagonist can be further highlighted to emphasise what I assume is going to be greater antagonism to your hero?
Can you perhaps just drop the first chunk altogether; replace it with “In a technologically advanced future, a naturally-born detective must solve the first murder in 23 years …”
It’s still got a lot of question marks for me. Why have there not been any murders in 23 years, and why is this relevant information for me to receive? I guess, at the core, you have a detective who must solve a murder, but your hook is unclear, as are the stakes and what antagonistic force he faces.
See lessA police detective is turned into a vampire by the brood of the serial killer he is tracking, forcing the cop to decide whether to fight for his humanity and hunt the pack down, or succumb to becoming a predator and hunt humans for food.
Hey Richard - I'm always wary of loglines where the main action being described in the film is the character making a decision. Characters make thousands of decisions throughout the course of a movie. I couldn't bare to watch a character take 90 mins to make one single decision. What is his actual gRead more
Hey Richard – I’m always wary of loglines where the main action being described in the film is the character making a decision. Characters make thousands of decisions throughout the course of a movie. I couldn’t bare to watch a character take 90 mins to make one single decision. What is his actual goal, not just the dilemma. To catch the killer?
The “thirst” growing in him feels like it becomes a source of antagonism for the character as he pursues the killer, but it doesn’t feel like the whole movie is going to be him pacing in his apartment, going “should I hunt this guy? Or should I go out and kill? Can’t decide.”
For my money, I think I’d be more interested in watching a movie about a cop hunting a serial killer, who is then turned into a vampire, and can’t overcome his killer instinct, becoming everything that he was fighting against. He gains perspective on the serial killer’s affliction. I wouldn’t know where to take the setup from there though.
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