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-TAKE #2- After being fired for accidentally killing the Hero, a disgraced 'minion of the warlord' is conscripted by the local village to become their champion and face his former evil boss.
Hi Richiev; I got the idea on the first reading. (I made a short film years ago with a similar premise, where the sidekick of a hero on an epic quest is thrust into the limelight, after "The Hero" dies in the first act, and the characters of the film's world are self aware enough to know that they dRead more
Hi Richiev; I got the idea on the first reading. (I made a short film years ago with a similar premise, where the sidekick of a hero on an epic quest is thrust into the limelight, after “The Hero” dies in the first act, and the characters of the film’s world are self aware enough to know that they don’t know how the story is meant to progress with the hero dead).
I just think the language needs a bit of a tidy up.
“After defeating a legendary hero in a minor skirmish, a disgraced henchman agrees to become the champion of a local village in order to overthrow the tyranny of his former master.”
It’s a tricky one to get down, but I see what you’re getting at. Good luck nailing this one down.
See lessA veteran goes to war against a crew of corrupt cops intent on controlling the US / Mexico border.
I'm with dpg again on this one. What are the stakes? And why do the antagonists want to control the border?
I’m with dpg again on this one. What are the stakes? And why do the antagonists want to control the border?
See lessAfter cracking into a ghost world?s most heavily fortified museum, an instructional designer must use the clues found to find one of the legendary Lost Wonders of the Universe.
Oh man ... fantasy is so hard to convey in 26 words! You sound like you've got quite an original world created for this story to take place in, but there are just SO many ideas happening here that it's impossible for me to know whether it's something I'd be interested in seeing, much less investingRead more
Oh man … fantasy is so hard to convey in 26 words!
You sound like you’ve got quite an original world created for this story to take place in, but there are just SO many ideas happening here that it’s impossible for me to know whether it’s something I’d be interested in seeing, much less investing in.
What is an instructional designer? Is that character a ghost as well? (Being that he’s in a fortified museum within the ghost world). As DPG says … why does this character need to find the Lost Wonder? What is it? (Lost Wonder of the Universe takes a lot of words … “hidden city”, for instance, cuts your word count).
Good luck.
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