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A self-centered race car mechanic must infiltrate a large corporate sponsor to learn the truth about her grandfather's death.
What do you mean by infiltrate? Pose as one of their employees? Or just sneak into the building? It feels like the link between her being a mechanic and the corporate sponsor having information about her grandfather's death is a little thin - perhaps providing us with the catalyst for the protagonisRead more
What do you mean by infiltrate? Pose as one of their employees? Or just sneak into the building?
It feels like the link between her being a mechanic and the corporate sponsor having information about her grandfather’s death is a little thin – perhaps providing us with the catalyst for the protagonist’s search in the logline will help to tie the ideas together?
How does the protagonist being self-centered factor into being a source of conflict (either internal or external) when the entire purpose of the quest is to find out what happened to her grandfather? As soon as she begins the journey she has overcome her flaw, right?
See lessAn assassin hired by means of text messages to kill a prominent mobster discovers he has been set up by the daughter of one of his father?s hits in a complex scheme of revenge.
Yeah, in echoing the above statements, your logline goes into great detail about the set-up (in this case, a literal SET-UP), but what does your assassin do for the other hour and a half of the film?
Yeah, in echoing the above statements, your logline goes into great detail about the set-up (in this case, a literal SET-UP), but what does your assassin do for the other hour and a half of the film?
See lessStreet Crime UK meets Spring Heeled Jack!
Not being familiar with either Street Crime UK (I'm assuming that this is a TV show, and not actual street crime in the united kingdom?) nor Spring Heeled Jack, I can't picture your film at all. Who is it about and what are they doing?
Not being familiar with either Street Crime UK (I’m assuming that this is a TV show, and not actual street crime in the united kingdom?) nor Spring Heeled Jack, I can’t picture your film at all. Who is it about and what are they doing?
See less