1. Posted: February 19, 2013In:

    In order to seduce his junior assistant, a conceited inventor exchanges bodies with an attractive stranger. But when she rejects his advances and he loses control of his research, he must attempt to reverse the exchange or else face the rest of his life living someone else's.

    Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai

    So you think something more along the lines of: "A conceited inventor uses new technology to exchange bodies with an attractive stranger, but loses control of his research and must attempt to reverse the exchange or else face the rest of his life living someone else's." The plot doesn't work withoutRead more

    So you think something more along the lines of:
    “A conceited inventor uses new technology to exchange bodies with an attractive stranger, but loses control of his research and must attempt to reverse the exchange or else face the rest of his life living someone else’s.”
    The plot doesn’t work without the clarification of why he switches once, then wants to switch back? Any ideas on how to tweak it to make it work?

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  2. Posted: February 19, 2013In:

    Faced with losing joint custody of his son, a puritan leather worker is forced to cater to the undervalued S&M market in his country town.

    Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai

    Thanks Monique. Yeah, a leather worker is just someone who works with leather - makes belts, jackets, that sort of thing. He needs money either to afford legal fees or because he's consistently failed to make child support payments. I feel like I want to avoid dragging the film into too much of a coRead more

    Thanks Monique.

    Yeah, a leather worker is just someone who works with leather – makes belts, jackets, that sort of thing.

    He needs money either to afford legal fees or because he’s consistently failed to make child support payments. I feel like I want to avoid dragging the film into too much of a courtroom / legal drama, so maybe I should steer towards the latter? “Unable to make his child support payments and faced with losing joint custody of his son …”?

    You ask if this wouldn’t be further ammunition for the mother – and you’re absolutely right. Without stating it outright, the logline hints that this will become one of the major conflicts of the film; he will need to keep his dealings as secret as possible – which will become harder and harder as he becomes more successful. It’s almost definitely going to be the second act climax, when the mother finds out about his involvement in the S&M scene and uses it as leverage to take his son away.

    I suppose I used “undervalued” because a large portion of the film is likely to be concerned with revealing the worth of marginalised people. You’re right, underground could be used. I think I prefer undervalued – it hints at more than underground.

    I feel like the idea of a puritan leather worker who helps to liberate a sexually marginalised group of people from the prejudices of a small country town community and unwittingly becoming a hero to that same group of people suggests a comedy to me, or at least a dramedy? How would you re-frame the logline to clarify the comedy inherent in the premise?

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  3. Posted: February 17, 2013In:

    After his assistant refuses his come ons, a conceited inventor switches bodies with a more appealing stranger. But when his plan to seduce her fails again and the stranger flees the country, the inventor must race against time to reverse the switch or face the rest of his life living someone else's.

    Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai

    Thanks mate. I thought about "advances" originally - but as he is her employer as well, I worried it would get misconstrued and the romantic / sexual nature of it would be unclear. It's possible that the following sentence gives it context ... but I wanted there to be no confusion. Totally right aboRead more

    Thanks mate. I thought about “advances” originally – but as he is her employer as well, I worried it would get misconstrued and the romantic / sexual nature of it would be unclear. It’s possible that the following sentence gives it context … but I wanted there to be no confusion.

    Totally right about needing a clear and concise reason to need to get back into his own body. I’ll try again.

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