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2366: Earth is on the verge of collapse and the wealthy Convert themselves into android bodies for life extension to travel to New Earth, 103 years away. When Conversion for a corrupt detective finds him malfunctioning on a garbage tip and his family nowhere in sight he has three days to repair his body, find his family and get on the ship to New Earth before it leaves.
Yeah, a dump. A pile of garbage. It's an Australian term - good pick up, might not be universally recognised.
Yeah, a dump. A pile of garbage. It’s an Australian term – good pick up, might not be universally recognised.
See lessWhen his ball busting ex-wife?s abrupt advice becomes a sensation, a beleaguered radio producer must swallow pride and mend fences before his stations ratings plummet back to the cellar.
The events of this logline are confusing in so far as I'm not entirely certain how they all fit together. The advice she publishes, or says on another program, or somehow makes public - this advice has to do directly with the protagonist, correct? What sort of advice is damning enough to not just chRead more
The events of this logline are confusing in so far as I’m not entirely certain how they all fit together.
See lessThe advice she publishes, or says on another program, or somehow makes public – this advice has to do directly with the protagonist, correct? What sort of advice is damning enough to not just character assassinate him, but to blowback hard enough to destroy the show he produces and put the station in danger?
Are the stakes only so high as the ratings dropping on his radio program? Could they be more compelling?
What form does the action of “mending fences” take?
2366: Earth is on the verge of collapse and the wealthy Convert themselves into android bodies for life extension to travel to New Earth, 103 years away. When Conversion for a corrupt detective finds him malfunctioning on a garbage tip and his family nowhere in sight he has three days to repair his body, find his family and get on the ship to New Earth before it leaves.
I think the danger with ending on "New Earth" is that it begs questions that the reader doesn't have the answers to. Does this make someone want to find out more? Possibly. Could the same thing achieved without? For instance, 'board the final voyage leaving his dying world' The reason I wouldn't incRead more
I think the danger with ending on “New Earth” is that it begs questions that the reader doesn’t have the answers to. Does this make someone want to find out more? Possibly. Could the same thing achieved without? For instance, ‘board the final voyage leaving his dying world’
The reason I wouldn’t include that part anyway, is that you want to keep the stakes as high and primal as possible. The repair of the body is not particularly primal, but it feeds into the setup of a malfunctioning body (already stated). It’s a hurdle that will need to be overcome before the end of the story.
But the REALLY primal stakes that anyone can identify with, it doesn’t matter what culture or where in the world they’re from, or whether they like science fiction or not, is the FEAR OF LOSING ONE’S FAMILY. That’s the thing that makes you want the hero to succeed. Being left behind … I guess that’s pretty scary, but I think it’s harder to relate to, and it might confuse the reader (of the logline – not of the script) as to what wil happen if he fails. Because he would get left behind, but what would make that sting WORSE is to lose the family.
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