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After he is taken to a frightening dystopian future resulting directly from his work, a disillusioned software developer returns to the present, intent on putting an end to his firm's nefarious plans.
Yes, it's the company he works for that presents the greatest opposing force to him trying to take them down. Should that be clarified in the logline? Also - the software he's working on leads to the invention of time travel, which he discovers the head-honchos at his company will eventually use toRead more
Yes, it’s the company he works for that presents the greatest opposing force to him trying to take them down. Should that be clarified in the logline?
Also – the software he’s working on leads to the invention of time travel, which he discovers the head-honchos at his company will eventually use to overthrow the government and install a totalitarian regime. Without padding out the logline with too much excess information, do you think I need to be more specific about that?
See lessAfter he is taken to a frightening dystopian future resulting directly from his work, a disillusioned software developer returns to the present, intent on putting an end to his firm's nefarious plans.
point taken about "frightening dystopia." I'm testing out the language, because it needs to sounds as disastrous as possible. Yes, it's necessary for the logline to contain the trip to the future. Not only is it the inciting incident (without it, the logline would be about a character trying to destRead more
point taken about “frightening dystopia.” I’m testing out the language, because it needs to sounds as disastrous as possible.
Yes, it’s necessary for the logline to contain the trip to the future. Not only is it the inciting incident (without it, the logline would be about a character trying to destroy the company he works for … which seems a little crazy but far less compelling), but it also presents the stakes of the story (should he fail to destroy his company in the present, then a horrible future awaits all mankind).
In what way do you mean to describe why he is frightened? You mean, get specific about the elements of the future that cause him to not want that future to eventuate?
Finally, again testing language, ‘disillusioned’ was the word I chose because I want to convey the character’s inner journey – he goes from questioning his faith in God to a becoming certain of the existence of fate (and therefore a master plan) through the course of the film. The one word i could think to distill the loss-of-faith state that the character sets out upon his journey with is disillusioned. If you have something more precise, I’m very open to it.
See lessIn a past life Raymond Red believed in reincarnation. But in the life he is living now, being reborn is not part of the program.
Hi Russell and Laughterror - you're right - Apart from pushing the envelope of mundanity within film ? why would anyone want to make or watch this film??. Sounds much harsher than I intended. My apologies. What I was trying to get at was that without the other elements of a logline, the informationRead more
Hi Russell and Laughterror – you’re right – Apart from pushing the envelope of mundanity within film ? why would anyone want to make or watch this film??. Sounds much harsher than I intended. My apologies.
What I was trying to get at was that without the other elements of a logline, the information the reader has doesn’t do much to excite interest in your project. Like I said, at the moment all the reader has is that your character is someone who is alive, and that death is either the major threat or the goal. It’s unclear. What is the hook? What is the story about?
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