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  1. Posted: September 17, 2012In: Public

    In a past life Raymond Red believed in reincarnation. But in the life he is living now, being reborn is not part of the program.

    Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
    Added an answer on September 17, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    I don't mean to sound overly critical, but the point of a logline is to entice a producer or funding body to want to produce your script, and then for them to be able to sell it to talent and distribution companies. Your current logline is far too vague for that to work. None of the important questiRead more

    I don’t mean to sound overly critical, but the point of a logline is to entice a producer or funding body to want to produce your script, and then for them to be able to sell it to talent and distribution companies.
    Your current logline is far too vague for that to work. None of the important questions (the ones I asked above) are answered.

    Even your description is too vague. It tells me, essentially, that your hero is an everyman who is alive, just living his life, and that when he dies, he’s dead. He is his own enemy. If he fails to die he will live again.

    Apart from pushing the envelope of mundanity within film … why would anyone want to make or watch this film?

    Bear in mind I’m not criticising the idea – you may well have a corker. I’m criticising your logline. You’re doing nothing to entice the reader to want to know more. Give us something.

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  2. Posted: September 17, 2012In: Public

    In a past life Raymond Red believed in reincarnation. But in the life he is living now, being reborn is not part of the program.

    Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
    Added an answer on September 17, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    Who is Raymond? What is the journey he's going to go on? What is his goal? What is the antagonistic force to achieving that goal? What is at stake? What is your movie about?

    Who is Raymond? What is the journey he’s going to go on? What is his goal? What is the antagonistic force to achieving that goal? What is at stake? What is your movie about?

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  3. Posted: September 17, 2012In: Public

    A single mother, plagued by the violent death of her husband, battles with her son?s fear of a monster lurking in the house, but soon discovers a sinister presence all around her.

    Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
    Added an answer on September 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    What are the stakes? What happens if she can't convince her son that the monster he believes to be lurking in the house isn't real?

    What are the stakes? What happens if she can’t convince her son that the monster he believes to be lurking in the house isn’t real?

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