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When a master assassin\'s family is captured by an evil king he must commit a series of murders whilst trying to free his family and escape
Your protagonist's arc is unclear to me. All I know right now is that he starts the film at the top of his game. What's the character flaw that he's going to work through before the end of the story? The stakes and goal are clear. Murder a bunch of people for a king he doesn't like. Obviously his faRead more
Your protagonist’s arc is unclear to me. All I know right now is that he starts the film at the top of his game. What’s the character flaw that he’s going to work through before the end of the story?
The stakes and goal are clear. Murder a bunch of people for a king he doesn’t like. Obviously his family’s life hangs in the balance, and he wants to rescue them. This part works.
Here’s my question, and what could prove to be the hook in this loglin: Why would a king need to blackmail an assassin into killing people? Isn’t that what the assassin does AS HIS JOB? Why doesn’t the king just pay him, and why doesn’t the assassin just take the job?
See lessA straight-laced rookie goes undercover to catch a gang of free-running thieves, but falls in love with their charismatic leader.
Thanks for your response Karel. Aside from the fact that I'm writing it for the Indonesian market, and the thieves are free running enthusiasts (Parkour), I really don't know what sets this story apart from those just like it. I recognise that throws up some red flags, but it also hasn't stopped manRead more
Thanks for your response Karel.
Aside from the fact that I’m writing it for the Indonesian market, and the thieves are free running enthusiasts (Parkour), I really don’t know what sets this story apart from those just like it. I recognise that throws up some red flags, but it also hasn’t stopped many, MANY films borrowing from this formula from selling and becoming big hits.
So, without writing my movie for me … can you suggest what area I should be tackling to make it more gripping? Are the characters suggested arcs not compelling enough? Is Parkour just not different enough to surfing or illegal drag racing or one of the many other slight variations on sub culture that have made films work in the past?
What I’m saying is, I recognise the problem but don’t know where to go from there …
See lessA straight-laced rookie goes undercover to catch a gang of free-running thieves, but falls in love with their charismatic leader.
Hey GJI - free running specifies the sub culture they belong to. It's very similar to Parkour, and using this the thieves are robbing jewellery stores in the middle of shopping malls. But I might need to find a way to make that clearer to the reader. Thanks.
Hey GJI – free running specifies the sub culture they belong to. It’s very similar to Parkour, and using this the thieves are robbing jewellery stores in the middle of shopping malls. But I might need to find a way to make that clearer to the reader. Thanks.
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