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[Logline Omitted]
"Closer to survival than sport" has me hooked, absolutely. What I want to know is - what is the "everything" that he risks? He's retired, so my assumption is his family and his life. Is this a safe enough assumption?
“Closer to survival than sport” has me hooked, absolutely. What I want to know is – what is the “everything” that he risks? He’s retired, so my assumption is his family and his life. Is this a safe enough assumption?
See lessA straight-laced rookie goes undercover to catch a gang of free-running thieves, but falls in love with their charismatic leader.
Thanks Simon. I was definitely going for a Point Break vibe, hoping to streamline the conflict by eliminating the love triangle and just going straight to the source. Point taken about dropping "love". Will strike that from the logline. From what I understand, you want your logline to be the clear pRead more
Thanks Simon. I was definitely going for a Point Break vibe, hoping to streamline the conflict by eliminating the love triangle and just going straight to the source.
Point taken about dropping “love”. Will strike that from the logline.
From what I understand, you want your logline to be the clear promise of what the movie will hold – it doesn’t need to take you through a step by step necessaily.
My hope is that, having made it clear that the story follows a cop who falls in love with a criminal, that the drama and the stakes are obvious. Does the cop choose the job or the girl, his honour or his duty. I’m curious to hear what other people think … do I need to state that central dilemma, or is it an obvious implication of this logline?
Also – thinking the title might work better (and be more indicative of the film) as “Jump the Gun.” Thoughts?
See lessWhen the son of a billionaire couple is kidnapped during their messy divorce, the ransom is an ultimatum: one parent will get to take their son home – the other must die.
My only criticism would be to adjust the first half "In the midst of a messy divorce, the son of a billionaire couple is kidnapped ..." and then continue as normal. It makes the messy divorce feel less tacked on, and keeps the kidnapping and the ransom running from one into the other. Having just reRead more
My only criticism would be to adjust the first half “In the midst of a messy divorce, the son of a billionaire couple is kidnapped …” and then continue as normal. It makes the messy divorce feel less tacked on, and keeps the kidnapping and the ransom running from one into the other.
See lessHaving just read Snyder’s chapter on writing a logline, I’d also like to comment that “Split” doesn’t sound nearly violent or aggressive enough to match the logline. It conjures a goofy Adam Sandler comedy (unless that’s what you’re pitching …). I’d suggest reconsidering the title.