Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
After falling through a wormhole, a powerful young superhero with supernatural power is thrown through a whirlwind when he finds himself in the "Real World" where he and his adventures have been nothing more than a series of books.
It's a very convoluted way of saying: "After a wormhole transports a fictional superhero off the page and into the real world, ..." Okay, you've got an interesting 'what if'? Now where are you taking it? What's the protagonist's flaw, what's his goal, who is trying to stop him and what are the stakeRead more
It’s a very convoluted way of saying:
“After a wormhole transports a fictional superhero off the page and into the real world, …”
Okay, you’ve got an interesting ‘what if’? Now where are you taking it? What’s the protagonist’s flaw, what’s his goal, who is trying to stop him and what are the stakes of failure? Compelling action is needed here.
You don’t need to explain that a superhero is ‘powerful’ or has ‘supernatural power’ – generally these things are implied by the common understanding of what a superhero is.
See lessIs it the whirlwind or the wormhole that transports him? Pick one and stick with it.
After falling through a wormhole, a powerful young superhero with supernatural power is thrown through a whirlwind when he finds himself in the "Real World" where he and his adventures have been nothing more than a series of books.
It's a very convoluted way of saying: "After a wormhole transports a fictional superhero off the page and into the real world, ..." Okay, you've got an interesting 'what if'? Now where are you taking it? What's the protagonist's flaw, what's his goal, who is trying to stop him and what are the stakeRead more
It’s a very convoluted way of saying:
“After a wormhole transports a fictional superhero off the page and into the real world, …”
Okay, you’ve got an interesting ‘what if’? Now where are you taking it? What’s the protagonist’s flaw, what’s his goal, who is trying to stop him and what are the stakes of failure? Compelling action is needed here.
You don’t need to explain that a superhero is ‘powerful’ or has ‘supernatural power’ – generally these things are implied by the common understanding of what a superhero is.
See lessIs it the whirlwind or the wormhole that transports him? Pick one and stick with it.
After the son of Death finishes his first day in the family business, he must persuade his father that he wants to follow his dream by becoming a chef.
What specifically happens to him to make him decide that today is the day he's going to change the course of his life? At the moment, the event/catalyst is not strong enough. Also, it needs to happen TO your protagonist - it should not be an action he takes (finishing a day of work). What are the stRead more
What specifically happens to him to make him decide that today is the day he’s going to change the course of his life? At the moment, the event/catalyst is not strong enough. Also, it needs to happen TO your protagonist – it should not be an action he takes (finishing a day of work).
What are the stakes of failure, if he doesn’t convince his father? He just doesn’t get to be a chef? That isn’t very compelling to me.
The goal; persuade his father he wants to be a chef and not a reaper, doesn’t feel like it has the inherent conflict to keep me engaged for 2 hours. The goal really needs to be stronger, and provide more conflict.
See less