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Based on the book King of Heists: The Sensational Bank Robbery of 1878 That Shocked America, written by J. North Conway. An unassuming man in the elite New York society assembles a crew that pulls off the largest bank heist in American history in 1878.
Ignoring the first sentence ... An unassuming man ... is about the LEAST interesting protagonist I think one could choose. Even if that's part of the irony; that he's quiet and pulls off an insane heist, there's got to be a better way to describe him that would catch my interest. What are the stakesRead more
Ignoring the first sentence …
An unassuming man … is about the LEAST interesting protagonist I think one could choose. Even if that’s part of the irony; that he’s quiet and pulls off an insane heist, there’s got to be a better way to describe him that would catch my interest.
What are the stakes? Why does he want to pull off the robbery?
See lessHot Flush is a four-part comedy-thriller about four recently-retired, over-60 women suddenly plunged into financial dire straits, due to cheating husbands and bankrupt pension companies, who ? faced with no alternative – turn to a life of crime
I think the idea is sound, but this is not structured like a logline. dpg's is closer (check out the "write it" section of the site for more information), but I'd like to know more about who the MAIN protagonist is. (For instance, in Desperate Housewives, even though the show is about all of them, iRead more
I think the idea is sound, but this is not structured like a logline. dpg’s is closer (check out the “write it” section of the site for more information), but I’d like to know more about who the MAIN protagonist is. (For instance, in Desperate Housewives, even though the show is about all of them, it could be argued that the story started and revolved MOSTLY around the Teri Hatcher role).
Also, the goal is a little vague; I get that they need money, but what is the clear, visual metaphor you’re going to paint that tells us “if the protagonist does THIS, it means they have averted disaster and poverty.” Just turning to crime is a setup, not a story.
See lessThe disfigured adopted son of a faith healer conspires to run away from home after he falls in love with glam rock and a beautiful yet rebellious crossdresser named Esmeralda in 1980s Nevada.
Very interesting idea for a film; I want to see it. Maybe dpg's concerns can be resolved by strengthen the antagonist's (who I'm assuming is his father) role in the logline? Perhaps he "plots his escape from the tyrannical rule of his faith healing father" ... something like that? Otherwise, if it iRead more
Very interesting idea for a film; I want to see it.
Maybe dpg’s concerns can be resolved by strengthen the antagonist’s (who I’m assuming is his father) role in the logline? Perhaps he “plots his escape from the tyrannical rule of his faith healing father” … something like that?
Otherwise, if it is the aftermath of “running away” that you want to deal with, you’ll definitely need to rejig the action section of your logline.
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