1. Posted: February 26, 2020In:

    Cuando una madre muere de c?ncer, su hija queda al cuidado de su padre y su calculadora t?a, que acaba convirti?ndose en su madrastra y la maltrata duramente. La hija descubre como liberarse y acabar con ella gracias a un libro que dej? su madre.

    Karel Segers Samurai

    Hi Cjiro,This may well be the first logline on the site written in Spanish!Have a read of our logline guidelines. That will help you improve your work in the future.Perhaps you can incorporate the second sentence like this:When she loses her mother to cancer, a girl/young woman is held captive by heRead more

    Hi Cjiro,

    This may well be the first logline on the site written in Spanish!

    Have a read of our logline guidelines. That will help you improve your work in the future.

    Perhaps you can incorporate the second sentence like this:

    When she loses her mother to cancer, a girl/young woman is held captive by her father and her scheming stepmother; but when she discovers a book left by her mother, she manages?to break free and kill her captors.

    I hope this helps.

    Karel

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  2. Posted: February 24, 2020In:

    When a machete-wielding crew chases a young gang member, he?s forced to drive incognito with a Hassidic geriatric to complete a drug run.

    Karel Segers Samurai

    You know that you can use the 'bump' feature to send your logline to the top, right? ;)

    You know that you can use the ‘bump’ feature to send your logline to the top, right? 😉

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  3. Posted: February 21, 2020In:

    When the city is devoured by war. A surviving girl on the verge of madness and a hungry old rat cross their lonely paths in order to find their salvation.

    Best Answer
    Karel Segers Samurai

    The problem with a logline like this is that I can't see the promise of interesting, unique scenes. We have seen many dystopian, post-apocalyptical films about single characters fighting to survive a cruel environment. What makes this one unique and interesting to watch? If the girl is on the vergeRead more

    The problem with a logline like this is that I can’t see the promise of interesting, unique scenes.

    We have seen many dystopian, post-apocalyptical films about single characters fighting to survive a cruel environment.
    What makes this one unique and interesting to watch?

    If the girl is on the verge of madness, it will be hard for an audience to identify with her. So what DOES make us care for her?
    It could be her relationship to the rat. But then – unless the movie is animated – the rat has limited potential to become a real character, that the girl can bounce off.

    You could give a little more detail about the war. Is it a real war from the past, or fictitious? Save on words by leaving out ‘surviving’.

    Finally, what does ‘to find their salvation’ mean? It’s a generic theme phrase that doesn’t add much in terms of appeal, or even detail.

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