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A brilliant Russian Cadet shortly after his graduation day is being targeted by the CIA, his respond was a personal travel to NYC to change all well-known war tactics with the help of his genius weapons.
After graduating, a genius weapon designer is targeted by the CIA, but embarks on his own personal mission to change military tactics forever. Might not be the story you're after. I found the logline confusing. The grammar is poor. Details like where he's heading aren't really necessary. Just what hRead more
After graduating, a genius weapon designer is targeted by the CIA, but embarks on his own personal mission to change military tactics forever.
Might not be the story you’re after. I found the logline confusing. The grammar is poor. Details like where he’s heading aren’t really necessary. Just what he plans on doing.
See lessA research scientist races against time to stop two earth-altering events: the rapid deterioration of planet Earth?s gravitational field and her family from completely drifting apart.
I like how you compare the family drifting apart to the loss of earth's gravitational field - but I would be more inclined to mention it as a complication, rather than a second story. For example: A research scientist races against time to halt the rapid deterioration of earth's gravitational fieldRead more
I like how you compare the family drifting apart to the loss of earth’s gravitational field – but I would be more inclined to mention it as a complication, rather than a second story.
For example: A research scientist races against time to halt the rapid deterioration of earth’s gravitational field while struggling to stop her family from drifting apart.
Still not sure if the family story belongs in the logline. Without it, the story is very bland, but the irony should arise from the research scientist themselves. What makes them different?
Also, how the hell is the gravitational field disappearing. You know that defies the laws of physics right? Whatever is causing that to happen should be the hook of the story. And the irony should be that the research scientist either caused it or is the wrong person to deal with the problem.
See lessTo get the girl of his dreams a timid momma?s boy must team up with the local cat burglar, but her unorthodox methods put more than his love life at risk.
You got it. (maybe that's too obvious?) - He falls for the cat burglar instead.
You got it. (maybe that’s too obvious?) – He falls for the cat burglar instead.
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