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She was always trying to "Figure things out." So, I pumped her full of lead. "Figure this out" I said.
Would make a great clip for a trailer. But it's not a logline. Doesn't tell us anything about the story.
Would make a great clip for a trailer. But it’s not a logline. Doesn’t tell us anything about the story.
See lessThe story of a boy who can teleport throughout space and time, and his eventual self-inflicted downfall.
This is not a logline. You tell is there is a story. But not what that story is. An interesting character, but what is he trying to do? Who/what is stopping him? And it sounds like you give away the ending. Not really advised. No one would want to read it if they know how it ends.
This is not a logline. You tell is there is a story. But not what that story is.
An interesting character, but what is he trying to do? Who/what is stopping him?
And it sounds like you give away the ending. Not really advised. No one would want to read it if they know how it ends.
See lessWhen her father disappears into Monaco city to escape his massive debt, a girl must trace him down or face an arranged marriage with the loan shark
I agree with the others. The punishment for failure is very interesting and original. I like it. I'm tempted to say we need to know more about the father. But really, if we read into his actions. He has fled his debt and left it for his daughter. That really sums him up well. Selfish and cowardly. HRead more
I agree with the others.
The punishment for failure is very interesting and original. I like it.
I’m tempted to say we need to know more about the father. But really, if we read into his actions. He has fled his debt and left it for his daughter. That really sums him up well. Selfish and cowardly. He has plenty of room to arc.
But we definitely need to know a little but about the girl. What makes her the right or wrong person for the job. Does she have a certain skill set that could help like Liam Neeson’s character in Taken? Even better if you hinted at how she feels towards her wayward father.
I’d read the script/watch the movie.
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