1. Posted: September 7, 2014In:

    When an out of work teacher is given a deadline by a loan shark, he contracts a hit-man on himself so his family can collect on his life insurance. However after he befriends the hit-man they decide to fake his death instead.

    Blue Parrot

    I'm having a problem with mentioning 'out of work' and 'hire' in the same sentence, It begs a question...

    I’m having a problem with mentioning ‘out of work’ and ‘hire’ in the same sentence, It begs a question…

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  2. Posted: January 11, 2014In:

    A Harlem orphan must face the federal Government and the world's largest corporations after he mysteriously wakes up on his 18th birthday with $458 Billion to his name.

    Blue Parrot

    I think the angle you need to take on this is like one you would take if your story was "a kid wakes from a coma to find out he won nearly a billion dollars in a lottery..... what does he do with it?" You have the government after him for some reason, which is fine if you can figure out why, but expRead more

    I think the angle you need to take on this is like one you would take if your story was “a kid wakes from a coma to find out he won nearly a billion dollars in a lottery….. what does he do with it?” You have the government after him for some reason, which is fine if you can figure out why, but explore WHAT this person would do with the money based on WHO they are (maybe before they woke up). Does the money change them or make them MORE of who they are? Once you understand your hero’s motivations you can better understand why the bad guys want to take him down and how he would react to that. Definite possibilities there mate. Good luck.

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  3. Posted: January 11, 2014In:

    While seeking inspiration for his writing, a high school senior gets caught up in the unorthodox sabotage of a rival school's prom, set in motion by a Prep, a Drugee, a playboy, and a billionaire's son.

    Blue Parrot

    There is possibility here but you need to up the stakes and clarify the goals. Think of the original 'Wall Street' for structure guidance. An ambitious but naive college journalist seeking his first breakthrough story gets promised the story of a lifetime if he participates in an epic prank that wilRead more

    There is possibility here but you need to up the stakes and clarify the goals.

    Think of the original ‘Wall Street’ for structure guidance.

    An ambitious but naive college journalist seeking his first breakthrough story gets promised the story of a lifetime if he participates in an epic prank that will humiliate a hated professor… etc etc

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