1. Posted: June 3, 2015In:

    All hell breaks loose when an impertinent alchemist's experiment accidentally opens the gates to hell, and she stands face-to-face with Satan.

    pressedham_d

    It's interesting that you asked whether the motivation could be to save someone - in fact, in earlier versions of this logline that was explicitly stated as the character's motivation. I will try a rewrite that more closely matches Richiev's suggested format.

    It’s interesting that you asked whether the motivation could be to save someone – in fact, in earlier versions of this logline that was explicitly stated as the character’s motivation.

    I will try a rewrite that more closely matches Richiev’s suggested format.

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  2. Posted: June 4, 2015In:

    After discovering that his father is still alive a prodigious investment banker abandons his Wall Street job to find his dad, and does, at a monk monastery in Tibet where speaking is forbidden.

    pressedham_d

    Interesting, sounds like the sort of drama The Academy loves. You don't need to specify that it's a "monk" monastery - the fact that it is a place for monks is inherent in the word "monastery".

    Interesting, sounds like the sort of drama The Academy loves. You don’t need to specify that it’s a “monk” monastery – the fact that it is a place for monks is inherent in the word “monastery”.

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  3. Posted: June 3, 2015In:

    When the military quarantines a zombie infested Seattle, a ruthless Vampire and his crew must team with a ragtag band of humans to secure the old church they are trapped in or be overrun.

    pressedham_d

    This definitely would be the sort of movie I'd watch. Could you trim out "and his crew", or are they important characters? Something like "... to secure an old church or be overrun." might be a way to shorten the end. So, good movie idea, I'd like to see it a bit more concise. Cheers!

    This definitely would be the sort of movie I’d watch.

    Could you trim out “and his crew”, or are they important characters?

    Something like “… to secure an old church or be overrun.” might be a way to shorten the end.

    So, good movie idea, I’d like to see it a bit more concise.

    Cheers!

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