1. Posted: May 11, 2015In:

    A young street level dealer must navigate the mine field of gang culture to get out before the gang implodes in a bloody internal war.

    pressedham_d

    I think this concept is pretty good - it seems like a unique take on the gang story to have someone try to navigate gang politics to get out without giving the other members cause for offense or concern.

    I think this concept is pretty good – it seems like a unique take on the gang story to have someone try to navigate gang politics to get out without giving the other members cause for offense or concern.

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  2. Posted: May 24, 2015In:

    Extraterrestrial monsters destroy humanity, save for an obstinate survivalist who vows revenge.

    pressedham_d

    Thanks for your comments everyone, your help is greatly appreciated. FFF, I'm very glad you mentioned 'Last Man on Earth', that is one of my very favorite movies. I'm picturing the world of my log line to look something akin to the television show 'Falling Skies' or the Sci Fi made for TV film 'AlieRead more

    Thanks for your comments everyone, your help is greatly appreciated.

    FFF, I’m very glad you mentioned ‘Last Man on Earth’, that is one of my very favorite movies. I’m picturing the world of my log line to look something akin to the television show ‘Falling Skies’ or the Sci Fi made for TV film ‘Alien Apocalypse’.

    It was pointed out in the comments that this log line does not indicate the plot well. I’ve worked on a revision that I hope addresses this. I’ve also tried some alterations in the protagonist’s character and goals.

    “During an alien invasion a fainthearted survivalist flees to a retreat he’s prepared in the woods, but detects one of the monstrous interlopers nearby – will he run, or stay and fight?”

    Please let me know how you feel about this.

    Many thanks!

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  3. Posted: May 23, 2015In:

    When a depressed hammerhead shark befriends a therapeutic dolphin, his incompetant shrink – a wite shark – wants to violently stop the healing process.

    pressedham_d

    I think for the sake of brevity it would be best to say just that the dolphin is the hammerhead's shrink, and leave out the detail about them being friends. Wouldn't there be ethical problems with the dolphin being too friendly with its patient? (Although, you did mention that it's incompetent...) WRead more

    I think for the sake of brevity it would be best to say just that the dolphin is the hammerhead’s shrink, and leave out the detail about them being friends. Wouldn’t there be ethical problems with the dolphin being too friendly with its patient? (Although, you did mention that it’s incompetent…)

    Why does the ‘wite shark’ [do you mean a Great White?] care about the Hammerhead? What’s their relationship?

    Sharks with shrinks… Weird idea, I like that.

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