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A dead husband waits to be reunited with his wife, but he isn’t the only one waiting.
I agree with dpg. A lead character is active, not passive. In your story, the lead character is 'waiting' which is very passive.
I agree with dpg. A lead character is active, not passive. In your story, the lead character is ‘waiting’ which is very passive.
See lessLiving in poverty, a neglected boy discovers the power of his imagination through reading but struggles to escape the harsh realities of his abuse.
Poverty, Neglect, and Abuse are three different things.Since you seem to state (At the end of the logline) that the child's goal is to escape the abuse, then at the beginning of the logline you should give us a direct example of his abuse.However, I would add, that a logline for a story like this isRead more
Poverty, Neglect, and Abuse are three different things.
Since you seem to state (At the end of the logline) that the child’s goal is to escape the abuse, then at the beginning of the logline you should give us a direct example of his abuse.
However, I would add, that a logline for a story like this is quite a bit harder to write.
Because a big part of the story is about something going on inside the kid’s imagination (Sort of like, the secret life of Walter Mitty)
On the other hand, there seems to be an outside of the imagination story as well.
This makes the logline more difficult if half your story is an imaginary story inside the child’s head and half the story takes place outside.
This is the kind of story I like, but the logline will be a little more difficult.
See lessIn an anthromorpic world, a young lion cub Living in his father shadow, decides to create the world?s first diverse sports team. Determined to prove themselves, these outcasts battle against convention and use their differences as strength in a futuristic sport.
One more thing, since most everyone has seen 'The Bad News Bears' or a variant such as, 'The Little Giants' or 'The Mighty Ducks, Where an odd assortment of outcasts battle to prove themselves.I think you can leave out the part, "...Determined to prove themselves, these outcasts battle against conveRead more
One more thing, since most everyone has seen ‘The Bad News Bears’ or a variant such as, ‘The Little Giants’ or ‘The Mighty Ducks, Where an odd assortment of outcasts battle to prove themselves.
I think you can leave out the part, “…Determined to prove themselves, these outcasts battle against convention and use their differences as strength in a futuristic sport.”
Instead focus more on the tangible goal. Winning a championship, or possibly defeating an unbeatable super team?
Perhaps the young cub’s father has his own team called ‘The Pride” and the ultimate goal is for the young lion to defeat his father’s team in order to win respect.
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